Total Drama House Party
by Asujoll
Summary: Since Chris has been arrested for undisclosed reasons, Chef Hatchet decided to get back at him for all the years of torture by letting 20 teenagers play a season in the acclaimed MacLean Mansion. With an army vet as a host and a big variety of personalities competing, this is one party no one is soon to forget.
1. Ep 01 Pt 1: Big Fat Awesome House Party

It was a bright, sunny summer day. The bluebirds chirped a merry tune and there was a slight breeze to refresh from the heat. Truly this was a day to go outside, play some games, and have fun with your-

"ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP!" All of a sudden a large, black man appeared in front of the camera. He was bald and had a noticeable unibrow on his face and a gap in his teeth. He wore a dark green dress shirt, khaki pants, and sandals.

"My name is Hatchet," the man said. "You may recognize me from the hit television series known as _Total Drama_. I would hope so, considering you're _watchin'_ it! Anyway, Chris ain't here this season due to some legal matters or somethin', so they gave me the job of hostin' this game instead."

Hatchet gestured behind him at a large mansion in the background. The mansion was three stories high and was surrounded by a hedge garden, marble fountains, and an iron fence with spikes at the top.

"_This_ is where our contestants this season will be competing: the MacLean Mansion," Hatchet announced. "Yup. Since Chris is away from his mansion due to matters I cannot legally share with y'all, I figured I could get him back for all the crap he's put me through over the years. So I'm gonna throw a major party, invite twenty teenagers in here, and let them compete in challenges for one million dollars. Courtesy of Chris of course. Heheheh. This… is Total! _Drama!_ _**HOUSE PARTY!**_"

Just as he said this, a car pulled up in front of the sidewalk Hatchet stood on, right in front of the gate to the mansion. Out of the car stepped a tall, white girl with stylish blonde hair. She wore a red, long-sleeved blouse with black polka dots, blue jeans, and black close-toed flats.

"Bye, mom! See you when I'm a million dollars richer!" the girl called as the car drove off. She turned to face Hatchet, but as she tried taking a step towards him, she tripped on the curb. "Whoah!"

Hatchet raised a brow at the girl and helped her up.

"Oh, thanks," the girl said as she dusted herself off. "Hi! I'm Susan. Am I the first one here?"

"Yes you are. The other contestants should be arriving shortly," Hatchet told her.

"Oh, cool! I hope some of them are cute boys. I like cute boys. I really want to meet a cute boy in this game. That's part of Total Drama, right? Meeting cute boys?"

"Er, you're askin' the wrong person," Hatchet said in a creeped-out tone of voice.

Another car drove up and dropped off another teenager, this one a boy. He seemed to be of Hispanic descent, and his dark brown hair was spiked in the front and rather messy in the back. He had a short beard on his chin as well as a lavender shirt with a red lowercase T, khaki shorts, and sandals. He seemed to be carrying a book under his arm.

"Barry. Welcome to the game," Hatchet greeted.

"Why thank you, Mr. Hatchet," Barry said as he shook Hatchet's hand. He then turned to Susan. "Hello. I'm Barry. What's your name?"

"Well, that depends, do you want just my first name, because that's Susan. My full name is Susan Harriet Bolotin. Most people just call me Susan. Except my parents. They call me Spinky Winkerson. It's a long story. You, uh, look cute with that… book you have there…?"

"Thanks. It's my Bible. I never leave home without it," Barry told her with a smile. "There's a verse for almost any occasion. It's really quite amazing."

"Your butt is amazing," Susan told him.

"I'm sorry?" Barry asked, not sure if he'd heard her right.

"Uh… I said… Pizza Hut is amazing. I could, uh, go for a pizza right now. Ahaha. Ahahaha."

"Okay then," Barry smiled, seeming as if he believed her.

Susan facepalmed at her own awkwardness.

The contestant to be dropped off was an Asian with chest-length brown hair. She wore horn-rimmed glasses and a dark green hipster bag hat, as well as a purple flannel button-up shirt, dark blue khaki pants, and grey sneakers.

"Alright, this won't be easy, but I can do this," the girl told herself. "Just because you have a slight drawback doesn't mean you can't win this. I mean, what could stop Kiki Koizumi from winning the… million… dollars…?"

Kiki froze as soon as she saw Barry. She quietly walked behind Susan and said nothing more.

"Hey there, I'm Barry," Barry greeted Kiki as he offered to shake her hand. He noticed Kiki breathing heavily. "Hey, I'm not going to hurt you," he said in a calming voice.

"Don't bother, Barry. Kiki's not going to respond to anything you say," Hatchet told him.

"I wonder why that is," Barry thought aloud.

The next car to drive up was blasting heavy metal music as a white boy stepped out. He had messy black hair as well as a chin strap beard. He also wore a black shirt with blue sleeves, dark green jeans with rips at the knees, and red sneakers.

"Yeahhhhhhh!" The boy shouted into the air as he walked up to Hatchet. "This game is gonna ROCK!"

"You better calm yourself, David. You do _not_ wanna get on my bad side," Hatchet warned the boy, David.

"Naw, it's cool Chef man," David said. "I'm not here to mess with people or nothing. I'm just here for a good time. This is the party themed one, right?"

"That's right," Susan told him. "We're on Total Drama House Party."

"Wicked," David smiled as he joined the rest of the players. He failed to notice Hatchet looking at him funny.

"This is gonna be a loooong season," Hatchet muttered.

The next car dropped off a petite, chubby white girl with shoulder-length brown hair. She wore a bright yellow polo shirt, dark green pants, and brown sandals. She also had a piece of paper in her hand. The girl cleared her throat and began to read from the paper.

"Greetings, fellow competitors. My name is Bailey Anika Donnelly, and I am pleased to be joining you on this season of Total Drama. I hope we all have a wonderful and memorable time in this game and that we all form strong, long-lasting bonds that last through the test of time. Whether we win or we lose, remember to have fun as well. Thank you." Bailey put the paper in her pocket and joined the others.

"Hi, Bailey. My name's Barry," Barry greeted her.

"…Hello…" Bailey replied meekly.

"That was quite the speech you just gave," Barry complimented. "I agree. It doesn't matter if we win or lose. All that matters is that we have a good time."

"…Yeah…" Bailey rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

Barry looked at Susan and Kiki and shrugged.

The next contestant to arrive was a gorgeous Asian girl with neat, chin-length black hair. She wore librarian glasses on her face and a green cardigan over a light grey shirt. She also had a black skirt and light grey socks that went just past her knees, as well as black Mary Jane shoes.

As she stepped out of the car, Barry and David couldn't keep their eyes off her.

"Hey there," the girl said sweetly as she approached Barry and David. "My name's Rachel. Are you two cuties my competition?"

"Totally…" David didn't seem to be paying much attention to what she was saying as much as he was to her breasts.

"Well, I look forward to playing with you," Rachel told them with a wink. "Maybe you two can be on my team."

"That would be nice," Barry told her. "I look forward to getting to know you."

"I don't like her," Kiki said to Susan.

"I'm not sure I do either," Susan replied.

The next car dropped off a large, overweight black boy with a backwards black hat and a circle beard. He wore a dark green shirt, blue jeans, and black sneakers. He was also holding a bottle of blue Mountain Dew.

The boy took a swig of Mountain Dew before joining the others.

"This is Chappy, everyone," Hatchet introduced.

"'Chappy'?" David scoffed. "What, did you leave your lip balm at home?"

Chappy grabbed David by the collar of his shirt using his hand that wasn't holding Mountain Dew.

"My name is James Chapman. If you know what's good for you, you will call me Chappy. If you don't know what's good for you, I can guarantee you will be medivacked from this game? Do you understand?"

"Whatever, man! Just put me down!" David struggled to get down.

Chappy threw David to the ground.

"Anyone else feel like saying anything?" Chappy asked menacingly.

Nobody said anything.

"That's what I thought," Chappy said as he drank some more Mountain Dew.

Another car came with the next contestant. This one was a white boy with messy, medium-length blond hair. He wore a red, long-sleeved shirt with a yellow eight-pointed star on the chest, dark green jeans, and red shoes.

Also, the boy jumped out of the car as it was still moving. He tumbled along the pavement, hurting himself badly in the process.

"Oh my gosh!" Rachel gasped.

"He could be seriously hurt!" Barry added.

"…Oh no…" Bailey frowned.

"Heeheehahaha!" the boy cackled as he got up. "That was great! Did you see me back there?! I got _jacked_! Heeheehahaha!"

"Wait, so you _enjoyed_ that?" Susan asked curiously.

"Heck yeah! Pain is sweet, ya know? I'm Mac by the way," Mac introduced. "If you ever want to trade blows, you know where to find me! Heeheehahaha!"

"Heh. I like you," David said. "This guy's funny."

The next car to arrive dropped off a white young man with spiky ginger hair and rectangular glasses. He also wore a yellow t-shirt, baggy red capri pants, and black socks with his brown sandals. He also looked to be shuffling a deck of cards.

"Welcome to the game, Nolan," Hatchet greeted.

"Likewise," Nolan said. He then took a die from his pocket and rolled it across the ground. "Alright, I rolled a five, so I'll give it to them straight." He looked at the others. "My name is Nolan. Every choice I make in this game will be determined by the roll of a die. This could be a blessing or a curse. Time will tell."

"Okay, I don't want to be rude, but this kid needs some lessons in how to dress," Kiki said to Rachel. "Look at him."

"I don't know. He looks pretty cute with that hair," Rachel purred.

Nolan rolled his die across the ground again and it ended up at Kiki's feet. He looked like he was about to say something, but then he looked at his die.

"Nevermind," Nolan said. "I rolled a three. I will not be allying with you in this game."

The next contestant to join the game was a young man of Native American descent. He had short black hair, a dark blue long-sleeved shirt, dark green jeans, and dark blue shoes. What really stood out, though, was his face. He had a scar on his right cheek, 5 o'clock shadow, and a patch that matched his skin tone over his left eye.

"Ah, Franklin. Glad you could join us," Hatchet told the young man, Franklin.

"Thank you, Mr. Hatchet sir," Franklin said politely as he joined the others.

"Hottie alert!" Susan squeaked.

"…Wow…" Bailey said simply as she blushed.

"Where'd you get those scars?" Chappy asked Franklin. "Were you in a war?"

Franklin smiled somewhat sadly. "I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about that with you guys just yet. Give me some time."

"Is that an eye patch?" Nolan asked.

"Yes it is. I only have the one eye," Franklin told him as he gestured towards his right eye – his only eye.

"Cool. So you're like a cyclops!" Susan shouted.

Everyone turned and looked at Susan awkwardly.

"I'll shut up now…" Susan said apologetically.

The next contestant to arrive was a medium-tall white girl, though she seemed more tan than the rest of the white contestants. She had blonde hair in pigtails, and wore a red tank top, dark brown running shorts, white knee-high socks with a grey stripe near the top, white running shoes, and black fingerless gloves.

"Hey there everyone. I'm Judy." Judy waved at the other contestants as she introduced herself. "Who's ready to win this game?"

"Heh. You know it," Chappy smirked. "I'm gonna win every challenge this season. Or else."

"I like that attitude," Judy told him. "We should work together in this game. I'm kind of a sports all-star, so I could definitely help you out."

"Alright, fine. Just be prepared to hand over the million when we hit the final two," Chappy said as he took another swig of Mountain Dew.

"I'll keep that in mind," Judy chuckled.

"She seems nice enough," Mac said to Kiki, who gave no response. Mac kept looking at Kiki, waiting for her to say something. After a while Mac punched himself in the face.

"Why did you just punch yourself in the face?" Judy asked.

"Because I got bored waiting for her to reply to me," Mac beamed.

"Remind me not to let you get bored," Judy chuckled.

Another car dropped someone off at the curb. This someone was a white young man with short blonde hair that was covered in a black-and-white striped beanie. He also had a soul patch as well as an orange unzipped hoodie over a black shirt, blue jeans, and black sneakers.

"Everybody, this here's Ernie," Hatchet introduced.

"Yeah, if it's all the same, can I, like, take a nap right now?" Ernie asked. "I'll just, ya know, sit over there, shut my eyes, and doze off. Cool, thanks." Before anyone could say anything, Ernie sat down next to David and fell asleep.

"How can he sleep at a time like this?" Barry asked no one in particular.

"Maybe he couldn't sleep last night," Franklin suggested. "I know I spent most of last night excited for a chance to join this game and win the money."

"You make a good point," Barry agreed.

The next car to arrive dropped off a white girl with messy, chin-length auburn hair and freckles on her face. She wore a sky blue long-sleeved shirt, a dark blue skirt over black tights, and red Converse.

"Bye, sis! I still hate you!" the girl called in a deadpan tone. "Gah. Why did she have to audition me?"

Nolan rolled his die once again.

"Alright. Six," Nolan stated. "You and I are going to be allies throughout the game."

"…Well that's unfortunate considering I'll be the first one gone," the girl said dryly. "Take a note, Hatchet. CJ O'Leary is the first boot of Total Drama whatever this one's called."

"What makes you say that?" Susan asked.

"Well I don't really want to be here. My older sister sent in an audition for me," CJ explained. "What's more than likely going to happen is that I'll hold my team back by not doing anything, and they'll vote me off because of it. That's how this thing works, right? I really don't care about this show."

"That's not how it'll work. I can't lose my only ally thus far," Nolan said.

"Well then you should have picked an ally who gives a-"

CJ was cut off by the next car to arrive, which had its windows rolled down and very loud EDM blasting out of the speakers. A black girl stepped out and pumped her fist to the beat of the music. She had fuchsia hair pulled back in a ponytail and cyclops goggles. She also wore a dark grey tube top, a blue skirt with grey at the bottom, blue fuzzy boots, and a number of different colored glowstick bracelets.

"Yeaaaaaaah! Hel-LO Total Drama House Par-TAY!" the girl shouted.

"Well. She sure knows how to make an entrance," CJ remarked.

"You're damn right I do! WooooOOOOO!" the girl cheered.

"What's your name?" Judy asked.

"I have many names. Some know me as The Raver. Lots know me as DJ Fuchsia. Most know me as Jilly," Jilly explained.

Ernie walked up to Jilly. "Uh, I don't suppose you're the one responsible for waking me up?"

"How could you sleep at a time like this, dude?" Jilly asked. "We're about to have a party, man! You can't sleep through a party!"

"I was doing so just fine until, ya know, you came along," Ernie glared at her. "I'll be sure to remember this if we're, uh, on the same team."

"I will too. I'm gonna pump. You .UP!" Jilly shouted as she wrapped one arm around Ernie's neck and punched the air with the other.

"That sounded dirty," David chuckled.

The next contestant to arrive was a white girl, but she was more white than normal. In fact, she was albino, with short white hair and red eyes. She also wore a white hoodie with the hood pulled up over her head, black sweatpants, and black shoes.

"Our next contestant is Erica," Hatchet said.

"Hey there," Barry greeted Erica. "I'm Barry. How are you?"

"Oh don't act like that. I know you don't give a crap, so don't patronize me with your fake sympathy," Erica said disdainfully.

"I really wasn't faking it, but if you don't want to talk, that's fine I guess," Barry said.

"Don't lie to me. I know none of you want to be associated with a freak like me, so don't pretend that you do. It'll only put you on my bad side," Erica told the others as she walked to the back of the group.

"Well, at least she's honest," Chappy said before letting out a belch.

The next contestant to show up was a short boy who appeared to be of Jewish descent. He had short, curly, brown hair and wore a peach-colored T-shirt, brown shorts, brown shoes, and white ankle socks.

"This here is Tucker," Hatchet told the others.

"Hey there. It's great to be here," Tucker said. "It's nice to meet you Mr. Hatchet." Tucker held his hand out for a shake.

"Well ain't you a nice ki-"

BZZZZZZZZAP!

Hatchet was cut off by an electric shock coursing through him as he shook hands with Tucker.

"Heh. Joy buzzer. One of Tucker's personal favorites," Tucker snickered.

"Hey! You little punk!" Hatchet shouted.

Tucker strolled up to Rachel. "Hey there. Just so you know, Tucker doesn't pull pranks on hot girls, so you're safe from me." Tucker informed her.

"That's fascinating, Tucker," Rachel told him sweetly. "And I think it's adorable how you pull pranks on people." Rachel giggled.

"Tucker's going to enjoy playing the game with you," Tucker smirked.

Another car pulled up to the curb. This one dropped off a white young lady with waist-length blonde hair. She also wore a pink shirt that seemed a few sizes too small, as well as short shorts and sandals.

"Hello, everybody!" The girl called. "I'm Lauren, and I'm ready to get my mack on!"

"You rang?" Mac asked as he appeared next to Lauren.

"Ah, you'll do," Lauren said as she pulled Mac in for a kiss. Mac seemed very surprised by what happened, but didn't seem to be complaining.

"…Ew…" Bailey winced.

"Ugh. Disgusting," Erica scoffed.

"Wow. That was pretty good," Lauren said as she let go of Mac, causing him to fall facefirst into the pavement. "Anyone else?"

"Tucker here. Ready and willing," Tucker introduced as he approached Lauren, only to trip over Mac.

"Heh. Sorry, shortstuff. I'm thinking more along the lines of a girl this time," Lauren said.

"Wait, what?" Barry asked.

"Oh yeah, I'm bi. Like, super bi. Like, I don't care who you are, I'll make out with you bi," Lauren said flirtatiously.

"…I don't exactly condone this," Barry winced.

"Don't act like you're not interested," Lauren smirked.

"Why does everyone think this is an act?" Barry asked no one in particular.

The next contestant to arrive was an Asian boy with black hair that was spiked up in the front. He wore a brown hoodie jacket that was partially zipped up and showed a light green shirt underneath, as well as jean shorts and sandals.

The boy said nothing as he scanned the others with his eyes. It seemed as if he was scrutinizing every single detail he could.

"You see, Jilly. _He's_ not partying," Ernie told Jilly.

"Well then he's DOING it wrong!" Jilly shouted as she excitedly hopped up to the new boy. "WhadDUP! I'm DJ Fuchsia! Also known as Jilly."

"I see," the boy said. "Well, I'm sure you'll all be happy to know that I know about each and every one of you, so if you're ever in need of some information, just look for Preston."

"Wait, what?" Susan asked.

"How can you possibly know about us? You just met us," Franklin pointed out.

"True, but I'm also very observant. I can tell a lot about a person just by analyzing their appearance, body language, mannerisms, and so forth. Rest assured, there will be no secrets kept from you in this game," Preston explained.

"He seems like an interesting character," Nolan said to CJ.

"Good. Then why don't you put _him_ on your team instead of me?" CJ asked sardonically.

"The dice have spoken," Nolan told her.

"Well the dice are assholes," CJ responded.

The next car to pull up to the curb was interesting as it looked to be the size of a cardboard box. The doors opened, and out stepped a girl of Indian descent with white face paint and a red clown nose on her face. Her hair was bright green and she wore a comically small bowler hat upon her head. She also wore a yellow long-sleeved shirt with suspenders that attached to her pink tutu skirt. On her feet were thigh-high white socks covered in multicolored polka dots, as well as red clown shoes.

"Spankety spankety spankety!" the girl announced. "Howdy everyone! I'm Spankety the Clown! But you can call me Spankety for short! Heehee. I hope this ends up being the best time of our lives!"

"Yeah! This chick knows what's up!" Jilly pointed at Spankety with both index fingers.

"Can you guys shut up please?" Erica grumbled.

"Awww, is someone having a bad day?" Spankety asked with genuine concern as she skipped over to Erica. "A handsome boy like you has no reason to frown! Come on, I'll make you smile!"

"I'm a girl," Erica said as she gave Spankety a death glare.

"Oh my! I'm so sorry! You're a very pretty girl! Honest!" Spankety apologized.

"If you want to make me smile, why don't you never speak to me again?" Erica asked harshly.

"Aw, but I don't want to see a friend of mine frowning!" Spankety insisted.

"I will never be your friend. Now, unless you want me to take that nose off and shove it up your ass, you'll leave me alone. Got it?!" Erica threatened.

Spankety had no words to say. She looked devastated as she walked over next to Kiki and Judy.

The twentieth and final car drove up and dropped off the last contestant. This one was a black boy with a buzzcut and round glasses. He wore a white T-shirt, blue jeans, and plain brown shoes.

"Hey, everyone. I'm Ziggy," Ziggy introduced himself.

"Pleasure to meet you, Ziggy," Judy greeted.

"Likewise. I can't wait to get this game started."

"Yeah, this dude's right. Can we get started already?" David asked Hatchet.

"Well, Ziggy here is the last contestant to arrive, so I guess we might as well get this thing started," Hatchet sighed. This information was met by many cheers as well as a few groans.

Hatchet took a remote control from his pocket and pressed a button on it. The gates slowly opened backwards, allowing the host and the twenty contestants entry into the gardens and, eventually, the mansion itself.

The twenty-one of them walked across the yellow brick path between the gate and the mansion. The contestants all looked around at their surroundings.

"Whoah. This is pretty badass," David smiled. "Ya know, for something that _doesn't_ have things on fire and dead people everywhere."

"Not yet, you mean," Mac chuckled.

"Awwww yeah." David gave Mac a fist bump.

Kiki simply made a face at them as she walked ahead of them.

Everyone was now at the door to the mansion. Hatchet held the key in front of the contestants.

"Welcome… to your new summer home," Hatchet said as he unlocked the door.

The interior of the mansion was nothing short of spectacular. The walls were mahogany and adorned with paintings, most of which were of Chris. The floor was covered in white tiles with a fancy blue design on them. The foyer was furnished with couches on either end as well as coffee tables in front of the couches. Directly in front of the contestants were a set of stairs that led to the second floor, and next to the stairs were hallways, two on either side, that presumably led to many other rooms. A golden chandelier hung from the ceiling, illuminating the entire room.

"…Wow!" Bailey smiled.

"This place is amazing!" Judy said excitedly.

"Yeah. It's actually almost a shame I'll be going soon," CJ added in a mix of deadpan and awe.

"Alright, kids, listen up!" Hatchet got everyone's attention.

"Okay, hold up!" Jilly interrupted. "You said this was gonna be party!"

"I _TOLD_ YOU TO _LISTEN UP_!" Hatchet shouted. "Anyway… this is the MacLean Mansion. Right now we're in the foyer. This is the main hub of the house, and it's also where we'll be holding our elimination ceremonies. The team that gets last place in the challenge will be here at 9 o'clock sharp to vote out one of their own."

"Hey, when are we getting into teams anyway?" Tucker asked.

"I AM GETTIN' TO THAT!" Hatchet roared as he approached a door directly to the right of the staircase. "Anyway… this is the confessional booth. If you have something ya need to say, go ahead and say it."

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Kiki:** So far things are going alright I suppose. There are a lot of boys here, which could be problematic, but I think I can work around that.

**David:** Wow, this is pretty legit. This season is gonna rock!

**CJ:** I figured I might as well make one of these while I'm here. Take a picture. It'll last longer.

* * *

Hatchet and the 20 teens were now in a large room that was decorated very similarly to the foyer, with the noticeable difference that there were three long tables in the middle of the room.

"This is the dining room," Hatchet said. "Y'all will report here at 7am, 12pm, and 5pm to eat three meals a day."

"Hey, if you're the host this season, then who's the chef?" Nolan asked.

"That'd be me." A black girl who looked to be about 17 years old stepped out of a door that was labeled 'Employees Only'. She had black hair that was pulled back in a bun and she wore a chef's hat as well as an apron over a pink T-shirt, khaki pants, and sandals.

"This here is my niece, Yolonda," Hatchet said. "She wants to be a culinary master when she grows up, just like her uncle. Ain't that sweet?"

"Cool. Which uncle?" Spankety asked sincerely.

Hatchet pointed at his eyes and then at Spankety, indicating that he was watching her threateningly.

"Oh, and by the way, if any of you boys are interested in having some one-on-one with your girl Yolonda, I'm perfectly okay with that," Yolonda added.

"Sounds riveting," Ernie said dryly.

"Ugh, so many flirts this season. It's disgusting," Erica groaned.

"Alright, kids, move along," Hatchet told the teenagers as he went for the exit. The teenagers, including Yolonda, all followed him. "Not you!" Hatchet told her. "You stay back and get lunch ready!"

Yolonda grumbled to herself as she returned to the kitchen.

* * *

**Confessional: **

**Franklin:** I'm not exactly used to fine dining, but I'm sure whatever Yolonda has to serve will be fine.

**Lauren: **Yolonda sure is a hottie with a body. At least I think she has a body. It's hard to tell behind that apron. She's got a cute face, though, and that's good enough for me.

**Yolonda:** For the record, I do _not_ swing that way. I'm all about the boys, and let me tell you, we got some cute ones.

* * *

Hatchet and the contestants were now in a hallway with red wallpaper and ornate carpets. There were four doors on either side of the hall and lights in between each door. At the end of the hall was a set of double doors.

"Wow. What are all these doors?" Ziggy asked.

"This is where the first place team will stay," Hatchet said. "Each member of the first place team will get their own room with a queen-sized bed, a mini-fridge, and room service. In addition, contestants who stay in these rooms can access any part of the house at any time, and will have their food prepared by Yolonda."

"What about these double doors?" David asked.

"That's my room. Y'all better not be botherin' me on my off-time, or there _will _be consequences. Ya got that?" Hatchet warned.

"Don't worry about it," Lauren said as she glanced at Tucker inching closer to her.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Tucker:** Lauren's hot. Tucker thinks he's gonna try and score with her. Hopefully we'll end up on the same team.

**Judy:** It'll be nice to relax in our own fancy room after working hard to win a challenge. First place is definitely something to shoot for this season.

**Bailey: **_(she is reading from a paper) _As I am an individual who appreciates alone time, I find the fact that the winners will receive their own private rooms to be most fortuitous. I have high hopes that mine is a team which can excel in every possible type of challenge so that I can have my alone time frequently. That is not to say that I dislike the others, I am simply an introvert and as such I do not appreciate being in the company of others during every waking hour.

* * *

Now the host and contestants were in what appeared to be a basement. It was dark save for the two electric lights hanging from the ceiling, and the only things that could be found down there were piles of cardboard boxes and four twin-sized beds.

"This is the basement," Hatchet told them. "Can anyone guess why I brought y'all here?"

"Because this is where the last place team sleeps?" Susan guessed.

"Heh. NOPE!" Hatchet laughed. "Actually, this is where the _second_ place team will be sleepin'."

"Isn't that the same thing?" Mac asked.

"Actually, if I may make a guess, this season will have three teams," Rachel said.

"Correct!" Hatchet announced. "Spoiler alert: there will be three teams this season. This is where the second place team will sleep. Since there are only four beds, y'all will more than likely have to share your bed with one of your teammates."

"We'll be sleeping with people of the same gender, right?" Barry asked. "We don't want to encourage any needless promiscuity."

"Aw, lighten up, bro!" Jilly gave Barry a playful noogie. "This is a party, remember. It's time to let loose and take a walk on the wild side, man! You feel me?"

"My skull feels you very well right now," Barry told her painfully.

"Also, besides the basement, the second place team will only be able to access rooms on the first floor. Plus, instead of having your meals prepared by Yolonda, y'all will get frozen TV dinners to eat."

"Sounds about standard for me," Franklin joked.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Chappy: **Eh, whatever. I spend most of my time in the basement playing CoD anyway. But losing is NOT an option, so I won't be spending _any_ time in this basement.

**Barry: **Jilly might be right about this being a party, and I do intend to have fun, but I don't want to do anything I might regret.

**Rachel:** I may flirt with the guys occasionally, but honestly it's all part of my strategy. If I can form secret alliances with boys who will stay loyal to me, I could end up controlling the game. I'm a lot smarter than I may seem; not that they need to know that.

* * *

We now follow everyone to the backyard. For such a large house, the backyard was surprisingly small, with a patio, a swimming pool, and a swingset in the grass. The furniture on the patio consisted only of three chairs and a table.

"This here's the backyard," Hatchet told the contestants. "No prizes for guessing while we're here."

"Why _are_ we here?" Spankety asked Nolan.

Nolan rolled his die. "I'm not telling you," he told Spankety simply.

"This is where the last-place team will sleep, dingus," Ernie said.

"Aw, does someone need a hug?" Spankety asked Ernie.

"That is literally the last thing I want right now," Ernie said dryly. Spankety hugged him anyway.

"There. All better?" Spankety asked.

"If I say 'yes', will you leave me alone?" Ernie rubbed his temples.

Spankety frowned.

"Well, now that _that's_ over, Ernie is correct. This is where the last place team will sleep. After the elimination ceremony, the last place team will report here and cannot leave until breakfasttime."

"What?! What about dinner?" Erica asked.

"Y'all won't get dinner. Such is the price for failure. Breakfast, by the way, is white bread and tap water."

"That's stupid!" Erica snapped.

"It sure is. So try not to lose," Hatchet chuckled.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Erica: **Who does Hatchet think he is? I know I'm a freak of nature, but that doesn't mean you get to starve me. Guh!

**Ernie:** Both Jilly and Spankety annoy me a great deal. Part of me hopes I don't end up on the same team as either of them, but another part of me hopes I do so I can be responsible for their eliminations.

**Spankety:** I've made it my personal mission to turn as many frowns upside down as I possibly can! That's why I became a clown. Everyone loves clowns!

* * *

Hatchet and the contestants were now back in the foyer.

"How come we're back in the foyer?" Tucker asked.

"Because, short one, it's time for your first challenge!" Hatchet announced.

"Sweet!" Mac cheered.

"Here's how it's gonna work," Hatchet began. "I had Yolonda hide twenty-one unmarked cans of soda all over the house. Once all twenty of the sodas have been found and everyone returns to the foyer, we drink. The flavor you get will determine what team you're on. Any questions?"

"Yes, will there be an elimination tonight?" Preston asked.

"There will not. I decided to give y'all a break. However, the perks and penalties of each placing are still in effect, so whichever team is the first to have all its members arrive at the foyer will be in first, and so on."

"Why twenty-one sodas? There are only twenty of us," Ziggy pointed out.

"There are seven of each color. However, since twenty is not divisible by three, we will have two teams of seven and one team of six. The team that has six will automatically get last place, so y'all better pray you're not that unlucky."

"What will happen to the one soda that we don't find?" Susan asked.

"Ah, excellent question," Hatchet smiled. "If you find the last soda, you may use it to protect yourself from elimination once. I'll explain more once we actually get to eliminating someone. Any more questions?"

Nobody said anything.

"Alright then. MOVE IT, MAGGOTS! _MOVE!_"

The twenty houseguests all scattered in search of sodas. Hatchet faced the camera.

"Who will end up teaming up with whom? Will Rachel's plan work? Will Spankety get her teammates to smile? How did Franklin get his scars? Who will be the first one to leave the game? You're not gonna find out after the commercial break, but STAY STILL ANYWAY! I DON'T WANT Y'ALL LEAVIN' ON ME NOW!"

* * *

_So that was Part 1 of Episode 1. I'll try and get Part 2 out as soon as I can, but with school and stuff that might not be till next week. Which characters do you think you'll like? Which characters do you think you'll dislike? Who do you think will win? Who do you think will be the first to go? Be sure to tell me in a review. _


	2. Ep 01 Pt 2: Pop Goes the Weasel!

Hatchet stood in the middle of the foyer. The challenge had just begun and the others had all left to find a soda that would determine the teams.

"Welcome back," Hatchet greeted. "If you're watching this, it means you're good at following instructions. Excellent work, soldier. Now, I just sent the twenty houseguests to look through the house for cans of soda as part of their first challenge. Let's see how they're doin'."

Loud snoring could be heard off to the side. Hatchet glanced to his right to see Ernie napping on one of the couches.

"ERNIE! What are you doing?" Hatchet barked.

There was no response, simply Ernie's snoring.

"I give up," Hatchet said as he shook his head.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Ernie:** I knew what I was doing. I may be lazy, but I'm not, you know, dumb. I know when to put actual, like, effort into things, and this was not one of those times, you know?

* * *

Franklin, Susan, and Bailey were on the second floor, searching through the halls for a can of soda.

"Oh, I hope we end up on the same team," Susan said excitedly. "Maybe we could make the final three!"

"That'd be nice, but try not to look too far ahead," Franklin smiled. "That's a long time from now. First we have to focus on the challenge."

"…He's right…" Bailey agreed.

"I know. I'm just so excited!" Susan squealed. "Hey! I see one! I see one!" Susan dashed forward, only to trip and fall face-first. "I'm okay!"

Franklin walked ahead and took the soda, which was placed next to a potted plant. He walked back to Susan, who was now up off the floor and dusting herself off, and handed it to her.

"Oh, thank you," Susan smiled.

"I figured since you found it it's only fair that you get to keep it," Franklin said.

"Cool! I'm gonna help you guys find your sodas too,"

"That'd be nice. Thanks."

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Susan:** Franklin's only the hottest guy alive! I don't care if he has only one eye; that just makes him look like an action hero! Plus, he's so sweet. I think I've found my love interest!

**Franklin:** Susan certainly is energetic, I'll give her that. She seems like she could be a loyal friend, which is nice.

**Bailey: **_(she is reading from a paper) _Susan and Franklin seem to be getting rather close. I fear that my extreme social awkwardness may reduce me to become the third wheel in the friendship. I just hope that isn't the case.

* * *

CJ and Nolan were currently searching through the mansion's rec room. Actually, to be more accurate, Nolan was searching while CJ sat in a beanbag chair waiting for him.

"I realize you don't want to be here, but the least you could do is help me out," Nolan said.

"I don't owe you anything. You're the one who decided to make me your ally," CJ told him.

"Yeah, but you're the one who decided to follow me to the rec room," Nolan pointed out.

CJ paused. "…Well I figured I might as well beat my high score in darts before I left," she said.

"You're not even playing darts," Nolan said as he found a soda. "Here. You can have this one."

CJ took the soda. "Fine. But only because the sooner this challenge ends, the sooner I can leave."

"That's fine. Now follow me. We're going to the…" Nolan rolled his die. "Attic."

"Fine, but don't expect me to help you there either," CJ told him.

"At this point it'd surprise me if you _did_ help me," Nolan said dryly.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Nolan:** Part of my self-imposed dice challenge is that I change my personality every time I enter another room. In the rec room, I was the deadpan cynic. I could also be the peppy cheerful guy, the absolute dick, the strategist, and more.

**CJ:** I wonder if Nolan is fed up with me yet.

* * *

Jilly, Kiki, Lauren, and Spankety were currently looking through the basement for any sodas.

"Man, this place is WEAK," Jilly said. "The lights aren't even colored and I don't see a SINGLE speaker!"

"We should have a dance party after the challenge! That'll cheer you up, I'm sure of it!" Spankety suggested.

"Hell yeah!" Jilly exclaimed.

"Okay guys, I think it's time to talk strategy," Kiki said.

"Aw, but we were talking about dance parties," Spankety said.

"We can have a dance party, but this is kind of important," Kiki said. "I called the four of you to participate in the challenge with me because I need an alliance."

"What if we don't end up on the same team though?" Lauren asked.

"That's a risk I'm willing to take. But each team will have a maximum of seven people. Worst case scenario, one of us ends up on a team of six, one of us ends up on a team of seven, and the other two end up on the other team of seven. Even if that happens, it's good to stick together." Kiki explained.

"You're awful talkative. I don't remember you talking _once_ before this," Lauren said.

"Well, there's a reason for that," Kiki said. "I'm… androphobic."

"That's okay. Lots of people are scared of robots," Spankety said comfortingly.

"It means I'm afraid of men. I'd rather not get into it, but let's just say I tend to freeze up around men. I have a hard time talking around them and I can't talk directly to them, period. That's why I'm forming an all-girls alliance. Are you in?" Kiki asked.

"Yeah, that sounds DOPE! Your girl DJ Fuchsia is IN!" Jilly said.

"That's such a sad story," Spankety said with concern. "If it'll make you happy, I'd love to join your alliance!"

"So, you're afraid of guys, huh?" Lauren asked. "I don't suppose that means you're willing to spend seven minutes in heaven in exchange for my loyalty?"

"No. I still like guys, I just… can't do anything about it. It's a struggle," Kiki said sheepishly.

"Whoa, that sucks. How do you cope with that?" Lauren asked.

"I won't answer that question," Kiki said as she found a can of soda. "Come on, I found a soda. I doubt there'd be more than one in here."

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Kiki: **Yes, I'm afraid of men. Between you and me, that's probably the main thing keeping me from winning this game. But if I can eliminate all the men in my team, that should make things a bit easier for me.

**Spankety:** Poor Kiki! I wonder what it's like being afraid of so many people. It's probably really terrifying. I feel so bad for her. I _have_ to make her smile now!

**Lauren:** Kiki better be willing to put out, because there's no way I'm associating myself with that clown freak without a little something-something in return. Still, if she won't do it, then it's her own fault if it bites her in the butt later.

* * *

Barry and Erica were looking through the dining room for a soda.

"So, why did you follow me here?" Erica asked. "It can't be for my good looks."

"Well no one else seemed to be going with you, and I figured you'd like some company," Barry said.

"Do I look like I want company?" Erica asked harshly.

"No, but oftentimes the ones who say they don't want company want it most of all," Barry said solemnly.

"…What do you want?" Erica asked in confusion.

"I want you to tell me about yourself. What are your hobbies? What are your dreams? What's your favorite movie? That kind of thing," Barry smiled.

"Why do you care?" Erica asked.

"Because I want to learn more about my new friend."

Erica found a can of soda under one of the chairs. She dashed out of the dining room as soon as Barry's back was turned.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Erica:** What is Barry's problem? How dare he act like a friend to me? How dare he make me feel special by asking about me as a person? _(she is blushing)_ What an asshole!

**Barry:** I couldn't find a soda in the dining room, and Erica seemed to have left when I wasn't looking, so maybe she found it, and she didn't realize that I didn't see her find it. Oh well. I'm sure we'll run into each other soon.

* * *

David, Mac, and Tucker were now searching in the mansion's gym.

"So, are the ladies here smoking or what?" Tucker asked.

"Totally. I think that Rachel girl has it hot for me," David smirked.

"I may or may not have someone in mind. That's all I'm saying," Mac smiled.

"Come on, man. You gotta tell us!" David coaxed.

"Yeah. If you're not careful Tucker could hook up with her," Tucker said as he moved his eyebrows up and down. "Wouldn't want to hurt any feelings now."

"I thought Mac _liked_ to get hurt," David chuckled.

"Physical pain, sure, but emotional pain is something else," Mac said. "I'd sooner have all my limbs broken than my heart broken."

"Hey, you're the one not saying who it is," Tucker said. "If Tucker ends up with her, you only have yourself to blame." Tucker found a soda in one of the lockers. "Score! Come on, let's go find some more." Tucker left the room.

"I wouldn't worry about him, dude," David said to Mac. "Something tells me he's not exactly topping any hot lists."

"You're right. And if he does end up with her, I can give him a black eye or three and we'll call it even. Heeheehahaha!" Mac laughed.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Tucker:** Tucker is a ladies' man. When Tucker isn't pulling pranks on unsuspecting victims, he's scoping out the hot chicks. Tucker doesn't know who it is Mac likes, but he better act fast before she inevitably falls for Tucker. Heheh.

**Mac:** I'm not sure I like Tucker too much. But if he keeps bugging me, I'm not afraid to get into a fight. And if he _does_ go out with her, I can fight for her honor. So that's cool! Heeheehahaha!

**David:** …Wait, _three_ black eyes?

* * *

Preston, Rachel, and Ziggy were checking each of the first-place rooms for a soda.

"So, any of you boys find a soda yet?" Rachel asked.

"Nope, nothing," Ziggy replied.

"I can tell you that there are two sodas in this general area. They are in different rooms as well," Preston said.

"How do you know that?" Ziggy asked.

"I saw it in Yolonda's body language," Preston shrugged. "It was nothing."

"You're _so_ smart, Preston," Rachel said.

"I try," Preston said as he found a can of soda in one of the trash bins. "I found this one. There should be one more in the first-place area."

"Do you think there's one in Chef's room?" Ziggy asked.

"I doubt it. Chef said we're not allowed in there, and they wouldn't make a soda unreachable," Preston deduced. "It's likely in one of the rooms on the other end of the hall. Let's go."

"You _really_ know what you're doing," Rachel flirted.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Preston:** I know Rachel's flirtation is all an act. Clearly she's trying to be the puppet master in this game. Sorry, hun, but that role's already been taken by one Preston Nguyen. Maybe next time. As for Ziggy, he's not even worth worrying about.

**Rachel:** I'm not sure I'm getting through to Preston. Maybe he's too smart to fall for it. I'll have to find someone more naïve to wrap around my finger.

* * *

Chappy and Judy were currently in the backyard looking for a soda to win the challenge.

"So, Chappy, why do you like winning so much? I'm curious," Judy said.

"Does there need to be a reason? Everyone likes to win and everyone hates to lose. I'm no different," Chappy said.

"You do seem a _bit_ different," Judy chuckled.

"Alright, yeah, I may like to win more than most people, but only because I do NOT like losing. Just like how we are NOT losing this challenge and we are NOT losing any challenges in the future."

"But what if we end up on different teams?" Judy asked. "How can we work together then?"

"Then you throw all the challenges so I can win them all," Chappy said as if it was nothing.

"That doesn't sound necessarily fair to me," Judy said patiently.

"Life's not fair. Deal with it," Chappy said as he found a can of soda hiding under an inflatable pool toy. "Well, I've won this challenge. I'm out," Chappy left Judy in the backyard as he returned indoors.

Judy sighed, rolled her eyes, and shook her head.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Chappy: **Winning is everything. If Judy knows what's good for her, she _will_ keep her promise and help me win all the challenges.

**Judy:** Chappy really needs to learn that the world does not revolve around him. Maybe I can be of some help. Maybe I can teach him that winning isn't everything. It certainly won't be easy, but Chappy's a friend… kind of. Anyway, I'm willing to help.

* * *

Bailey, Franklin, and Susan continued wandering the halls in search of a soda.

"Oh, I want to drink this so bad," Susan pouted as she held her soda can.

"I know, but you have to wait. You don't want to drink it now before Mr. Hatchet tells us which flavor goes to which team," Franklin told her.

"I know… but it's haaaaaaard! Here, Bailey, you take this one." Susan handed her soda to Bailey.

"…Um, okay…" Bailey took the soda from Susan.

"I don't think you need the caffeine anyway," Franklin joked.

"Yeaaaaaah, you're probably right," Susan admitted. "I am rather energetic, aren't I?"

"And then some." Franklin looked up at a chandelier hanging from the ceiling of the intersection of hallways they had reached. "Hey, is that another can of soda?"

"Is it? Where?!" Susan asked as she turned around to face Franklin. She turned around too fast, however, and she slipped and fell on her back. Though Susan wasn't heavy by any means, the force of her fall was enough to dislodge the can of soda from the chandelier – and onto her head.

"You alright?" Franklin asked.

"Just peachy…" Susan said airily as she rubbed her head. "Hey, this means that we almost win, right?"

"Yup. We just have to find one for me now," Franklin said. "Let's roll out."

"Just like Transformers!" Susan said, still in a daze.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Franklin: **Susan's energy would be great to have on our team. Bailey doesn't talk much, but I consider her a friend. Maybe I can get her to open up at her own pace. She and Susan seem pretty different, but they're both sweet girls.

**Susan:** Isn't Franklin the greatest? He and Bailey are great friends. I'm going to love it here, I can tell!

**Bailey:** _(she is reading from a paper)_ While Susan and Franklin do not seem necessarily disturbed by my presence, I notice that they seem closer to each other than they do to me. I am not surprised by this fact, as I am far from the most talkative person in the house, though it is rather disappointing to feel unincluded. Perhaps I should work to rectify this. _(she sighs)_

* * *

CJ and Nolan were now searching in the attic of the mansion, or, to be more accurate, Nolan was searching as CJ sat upon a cardboard box drawing something in a sketchbook.

"You know, CJ, even though you're not really helping, just having you here is lifting my spirits tenfold," Nolan said cheerfully.

"Why did you have to roll a one?" CJ asked. "Would it kill you to not follow the dice when they make you do something annoying?"

"No, but that would defeat the purpose of a self-imposed challenge," Nolan told her.

"Why would you give yourself an extra challenge? This game seems complicated enough as it is," CJ inquired.

"Well there are two reasons. For one, I'm a risk taker. A gambler you might say. I have lots of fun playing cards and rolling dice and keeping myself guessing. The other reason is, well, I honestly don't think I'm going to win, so I'm gonna have as much fun as I can while I am here by adding some extra challenge."

"You're crazy, you know that?" CJ remarked.

"Thank you!" Nolan smiled. "Hey, I found one for you!" Nolan handed CJ a can of soda.

"Great. Can we go back to the foyer? It's a lot less dusty there."

"No problemo!"

* * *

**Confessional:**

**CJ: **I don't get Nolan. Like, who is he really? I feel like he's just trying out different personalities to make himself feel special. That sounds like something a preteen girl would do if you ask me.

**Nolan:** I can be myself when I'm in the confessional. And as myself, I have to say, I'm glad I picked CJ as an ally; or should I say I'm glad the dice picked CJ. She's pretty funny, and her sarcastic one-liners are good for morale.

* * *

Jilly, Kiki, Lauren, and Spankety had split up to search the front yard, as it was quite expansive. Kiki and Spankety took the east half of the gardens, and Jilly and Lauren took the west half. We now check Kiki and Spankety.

"So, Spankety, is that your real name?" Kiki asked.

"Heehee. Nope! It's a nickname. My real name doesn't sound all that clownish, so I came up with this one." Spankety explained.

"What's your real name?" Kiki asked curiously.

"Not telling! Heehee." Spankety giggled.

"Alright then." There was a pause. "Clowns carry seltzer around, right? Do you think that'll count as a soda for the challenge?" Kiki asked rhetorically.

"I don't think so. Mr. Hatchet said the flavor of the soda would determine what team we're on. My seltzer doesn't taste like anything, really. Sorry," Spankety apologized. "But if it makes you feel any better, I think I see a real soda right there!"

"Really?" Kiki asked. She turned her attention to where Spankety pointed. Sure enough, there was a can of soda sitting in the trunk of an elephant-shaped hedge. "How are we going to get it down though?"

"No worries. A clown always has a few tricks up her sleeve!" Spankety removed her hat and tossed it like a boomerang at the can of soda. The hat connected with the can and knocked it off the hedge and into Spankety's hand. Spankety smiled as her hat landed back upon her head.

"…I'm not questioning it," Kiki shrugged.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Kiki:** Spankety will definitely be a helpful member of my alliance. Hopefully we do end up on the same team. It sure would suck if we somehow got separated. _(she facepalms) _I'm just tempting fate, aren't I?

**Spankety: **I'm helpful!

* * *

Jilly and Lauren, meanwhile, searched the western side of the front yard gardens. They were currently stuck in a hedge maze.

"You don't think they'd really hide a soda in here, do you?" Lauren asked.

"I dunno, man, but it's way too bright out here," Jilly said. "Your girl's more of an indoor type of person, you know? Even with these killer shades, it's like, geez, man! Calm yourself, sun!"

"So basically you're useless right about now?" Lauren asked.

"Naw way, man! I'm totally leading a trail back to the start of the maze!" Jilly gestured behind her at the glowsticks she'd placed on the ground.

"Wow. That's actually pretty smart," Lauren admitted.

"Hey, by the way, just to be sure, you're not gonna try any funny business in here are you?" Jilly asked.

"I'm not going to kill you if that's what you're asking," Lauren replied.

"Naw, man, I mean, you know, because of the thing… were you don't just like guys and stuff. You know what I'm saying." Jilly scratched the back of her head.

"No, no, don't worry. I may have an overactive libido, or whatever that doctor said, but you're my friend and I know how to respect boundaries. Word of warning, though: all bets are off when I'm on my period."

"Uh, yeah. Got it," Jilly winced.

"Alright, you want to hear the good news or the bad news first?" Lauren asked.

"Uh, bad news?"

"The bad news is we have to head back."

"Well what's the good news?"

Lauren showed Jilly the can of soda she found.

"Aw, sickness!" Jilly cheered. "Let's go check on the others."

"Good call," Lauren agreed.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Lauren:** Jilly's a bit over-the-top, but she's probably my best friend so far. She's certainly not making it easy for me with that revealing outfit, but like I said, I can respect my friends' boundaries. Let's be honest though, if she weren't already my friend, I'd _definitely_ have tried some funny business in that hedge maze. _(she snickers)_

**Jilly:** It's good to know Lauren's got my back, you know? I think we could make the final two. Just sayin'.

* * *

Barry wandered through the halls by himself when he saw Judy just across the hall.

"Oh, hey! Judy!" Barry called.

"Hey. Sorry, I didn't catch your name," Judy said.

"I'm Barry Flynn. My partner actually left me behind a little bit ago. You want to team up?"

"Totally. In fact, the same thing happened to me. But where are my manners? Judy Janine Jones, at your service."

"Cool. So, Judy, what's your story?" Barry asked.

"Well back home I'm kind of famous at my school for being sort of, kind of, really good at sports. I'm in all the sports teams and I play a key role in each team," Judy explained. "I don't like to brag, but I do have a number of fans at school. Though nobody asked me to homecoming last year. I was disappointed."

"I bet they all think you're way out of their league," Barry smiled.

"Oh, stop," Judy scolded playfully.

All of a sudden the two found themselves at a dead end with a giant painting of Chris hanging on the wall.

"Seriously? Who builds a dead end into a house?" Judy chuckled.

"Someone who likes hanging pictures of themselves I guess," Barry shrugged. "Almost makes me wonder if there's a secret behind that abnormally large painting."

"Yeah, that would be funny," Judy agreed as the two left the dead end.

…

…

"You know, it probably wouldn't hurt to check," Barry said as he and Judy returned to the painting. Barry moved the painting aside to reveal a hidden compartment with a can of soda in it.

"Nice! Good call, man," Judy complimented.

"Thanks," Barry said as he took the soda and handed it to Judy.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Barry: **Even though Erica left me, I lucked out in running across Judy. It's great to make new friends, and Judy seems like a really sweet gal.

**Judy:** Barry's really cool. Maybe if he and Chappy end up on the same team as me, Barry could help me help Chappy with his whole winning obsession. That'd be cool.

* * *

David, Mac, and Tucker were now searching the bathroom for a soda. Tucker seemed to have a mischievous look on his face.

"What are you planning, dude?" David asked Tucker.

"Oh, just wondering if Tucker could make a peephole to look at the hot chicks taking a shower. Hey, who do you guys think is hotter: Lauren, Rachel, or Judy? Tucker can't decide on who's the hottest."

"Er, you do realize we're talking about actual people, right? Not baseball cards," Mac pointed out.

"Well duh. Baseball cards aren't hot. Not even the ones with chicks on them," Tucker said.

"I'm just saying. How would _you_ like it if a girl said _you_ were the less attractive than another guy?" Mac said.

"Are you insinuating that Tucker is ugly?" Tucker asked, angry.

"And what if I am?" Mac smirked.

"You want to fight?" Tucker asked Mac as he handed his soda to David and cracked his knuckles.

"Ladies first," Mac grinned as he held up his fists.

The two began to trade blows, though Mac, being taller and more physically fit, had the clearer advantage. Tucker could barely get a punch in before he ended up lying on the floor with a bloody nose and a black eye.

"You mother *bleep*er!" Tucker shouted. "Tucker won't forget this! Your ass is grass, and Tucker is the lawnmower!"

"Dude, that was intense!" David hi-fived Mac. "Check it out: I found this while you guys were fighting." David showed Mac a can of soda that he'd found.

"Excellent! Heeheehahaha!" Mac laughed. "Oh MAN do I feel good! That fight really got me pumped. The pain! The pain! It's amazing!" Mac took Tucker's soda from David and the two left.

"No! You can't do this to Tucker!" Tucker called. "Tucker will have his revenge!"

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Mac:** Oh man, that was AWESOME! Tucker got _messed up_, man! He was all "You wanna fight" and I was all "Bring it on" and next thing I know he's lying on the ground in total pain! Heeheehahaha!

**David: **Whoa, dude. Mac is intense. I'm definitely glad he's on my side, or I'd be in huge trouble, man.

**Tucker:** You may have won the battle… Mac… but TUCKER… will win… the WAR!

* * *

Preston, Rachel, and Ziggy were now in the spa area of the mansion. They had found their second soda in the first-place rooms and only needed one more.

"You know, Preston, I bet you could _easily_ find all the sodas in this whole house," Rachel said.

"It's possible. But for the sake of the challenge we only need three, so three we shall find," Preston said.

"I didn't know this place had a spa," Ziggy said.

"Apparently so. It looks like there's even a sauna in here too," Rachel said with a wink. "I wonder if towels are required in the sauna."

"I'd play it safe and assume so," Ziggy said.

"Ooh, good call, Ziggy," Rachel said with a smile.

"Hm, perhaps the soda's _in _the sauna," Preston pondered.

"Oh, I'd be more than happy to check," Rachel said as she went for the door.

"You're going to go in fully clothed?" Ziggy asked.

"Well, if you boys want me to strip naked first, I'd be fine with that," Rachel giggled.

"That won't be necessary. Please, the soda," Preston said impatiently.

"Okay then," Rachel said as she went into the sauna.

"She seems alright," Ziggy said to Preston.

"Between you and me, I think her flirtation is all an act," Preston said. "Try not to fall for it."

"I'll keep that in mind," Ziggy said.

Just then Rachel walked out of the sauna with a can of soda in hand.

"Boy, it sure is _steamy_ in there. You boys should join me in there sometime," Rachel said.

"Well, for now we should return to the foyer. We've finished this challenge," Preston said as he, Ziggy, and Rachel left for the foyer.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Preston: **I do hope Rachel and I are on the same team, because I want her gone sooner than later. Of course, if she _isn't_ on my team, I can work around that. Just plant some seeds of suspicion in the minds of her teammates, sit back, and watch the fireworks.

**Rachel:** Even if they aren't falling for it, it's still a good idea to keep up the façade. I'd rather not have them telling everyone I'm a phony and I end up being kicked off because of it. Not exactly my cup of tea. Actually, my cup of tea is earl grey.

* * *

Ernie continued to nap on the couch in the foyer. He, CJ, Nolan, Chappy, Erica, Kiki, Spankety, Mac, David, and Hatchet were all there as well.

"Has he been asleep this entire challenge?" David asked as he gestured to Ernie.

"Yup. If he doesn't find himself a soda soon I think I'll kick him out right now!" Hatchet said.

Just then, Preston, Rachel, and Ziggy arrived in the foyer, each with a soda.

"Alright, that's twelve people in the foyer with a soda!" Hatchet announced. "Eight more to go!"

"Can I at least drink my soda now?" Erica asked. "I'm thirsty."

"Nope. You gotta wait 'till _everyone's _here!" Hatchet told her.

"Ugh. It's because I'm a freak, isn't it? You need to check your privilege," Erica scoffed.

"I'm not even going to _pretend_ like I care what that means," Hatchet told her.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Ernie:** Faking being asleep is great because you get to, like, overhear conversations that people don't think you're listening to because, ya know, they think you're asleep. You learn a lot of stuff you, uh, wouldn't normally find out that way.

* * *

Bailey, Franklin, and Susan were now on the balcony that overlooked the backyard. The balcony had five chairs surrounding a circular table.

"This is a nice balcony," Franklin said. "I like this table. It reminds me of poker night at… back home."

"Nolan brought dice with him. Maybe he has cards too! That'd be cool!" Susan said excitedly.

"Maybe. I'll have to ask him about that later. Assuming he doesn't get voted out tonight, that is," Franklin thought aloud.

"…Um… Hatchet said… um… there isn't… going… to be… um… an elimination… um… tonight,"  
Bailey reminded him.

"Ah, that's right. Thanks Bailey. It's good to have you around," Franklin smiled.

"OW!" Susan yelped as she banged her head on the bottom of the table. She had crawled under the table in search of a soda, and as she got up she hit her head.

"Are you alright?" Franklin asked.

"I don't know…" Susan giggled. "But I found a soda pop!" Susan handed Franklin the soda she had found before falling to the floor again.

"Thanks, Susan. You're pretty good at this," Franklin said before realizing she was unconscious. He picked her up and slung her over his shoulder. "Might as well carry her back, for her troubles."

"…Right…" Bailey agreed.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Franklin:** I'm not sure how Susan can bear getting hurt as much as she seems to. I have… a bit of an aversion to pain, if the scars and one eye are any indication.

**Bailey:** _(she is reading from a paper) _It felt nice to remind Franklin of the lack of an elimination tonight. It may not have been much, but I feel it a necessary step to becoming more of an open person. Perhaps someday I may be able to hold a conversation without needing to preconceive what I have to say. …Like that'll happen…

* * *

Jilly and Lauren found themselves in a ballroom in their search for one last soda.

"Dang, now THIS is a party room!" Jilly commented. "I mean, it could do with less chiffon and more glitter, but still. I could see myself throwing a baller party in here."

"Well it _is_ a ballroom," Lauren chuckled. "Though I have to disagree. I think it'd be nice to throw a grand masquerade in a room like this. I may get around, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the finer things sometimes."

"Aw, dude, you know what? We should throw a masque-rave!" Jilly said. "Everyone gets dressed up in those froufy outfits with all the feathers and stuff, while people are glowstringing to the sick beats your girl picked out! Yeah!"

"What is 'glowstringing'?" Lauren asked.

"It's so cool. It's when you have two strings with glowsticks on the end and you do tricks and stuff with them. When you glowstring in a dark room, it's like nothing else matters. I'm not that great at it, admittedly, but there's some people on YouTube where it's like… DAYUM!"

"Hey, random question: have you ever done ecstasy?" Lauren asked.

"I don't think I'm legally allowed to answer that question truthfully," Jilly smirked.

"I see," Lauren said. "Holy crap this ballroom is huge. We could look around for half an hour and still not cover all the ground."

"Well that don't matter, because look what your girl just found!" Jilly showed Lauren a can of soda she had found behind a chiffon curtain.

"Great. This challenge is over!" Lauren grinned. "Let's go back."

"Killin' it!" Jilly cheered as she ran for the door.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Jilly:** Even though there's no trance music or seizure-inducing lights or nothing, I have to say this party is still pretty sick. After I give it the ol' DJ Fuchsia treatment, it's gonna be off. The. Mother. Effing. CHAIN!

**Lauren:** I wonder if Jilly will screw me if I get her high on ecstasy. Food for thought.

* * *

Barry and Judy were now in what appeared to be an armory, full of swords, lances, axes, bows, and all sorts of medieval weaponry.

"Wow. I like it here!" Judy smiled. "Medieval weaponry has always been a secret passion of mine. I wonder if anyone else here likes them as much as I do."

"Maybe. You'll have to ask around," Barry said.

"Yeah, I probably should. Say, Barry, what are your hobbies?" Judy asked.

"You'll think it's silly," Barry said.

"No I won't. Trust me. I told you my guilty pleasure. What's yours?" Judy asked.

"Well, if you must know…" Barry drew out the silence as long as he could. "I like to take modern pop songs and re-write them with Christian lyrics."

Judy burst into laughter. "That's _adorable_!"

"No it's not," Barry blushed in embarrassment. "I mean, a lot of good songs these days don't exactly have the cleanest lyrics, so I'm doing my part."

"No, I totally get why you're doing it," Judy said in between giggles. "That's seriously cool. Are they on the internet or something?"

Before Barry could answer, the door busted open. Tucker walked in, and he looked _livid_.

"Alright, if one of you doesn't give Tucker a soda right now, there _will_ be consequences!" Tucker shouted.

"Tucker, honey, I'm on the wrestling team," Judy said. "If you think you can take me, I'll accept your challenge, but I'm just warning you in advance-"

"Tucker will _not_ be patronized!" Tucker snapped.

Barry managed to find a soda hiding behind a battle axe. "Here. Take this soda," he said as he handed it to Tucker.

"You see? That wasn't so difficult, now was it?" Tucker asked. "Tucker's out of here." Tuckers stomped off.

"Why'd you give him that soda?" Judy asked.

"He looked like he was having a bad day. He had a black eye and I think I saw blood coming from his nose. I figured he could use some kindness," Barry explained.

"Barry, you're one of a kind, let me tell you," Judy said.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Judy:** Barry's a sweet guy. He's going to make some girl very happy someday, I can tell you that much right now.

**Barry:** Why do I get the feeling Judy doesn't take me very seriously? Oh well. As long as we're still friends, that's alright with me.

* * *

Everyone but Barry and Judy were now in the foyer. CJ brought a chair up to Ernie and sat next to him.

"We're not so different, you and I," CJ said to him, unaware of the fact that he was listening. "Neither of us really want to do anything as far as challenges go. Heck, I don't even want to be here. Do you want to be here? Well, only one of us can be the first boot, and that's gonna be me. Sorry, you'll have to suffer here a bit longer than I will. I already called dibs on first boot, so you'll have to be patient."

Ernie began to stretch as he yawned and opened his eyes.

"Did you say something?" Ernie asked CJ.

"What? No, I've been silent this entire time," CJ said.

"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not," Ernie stated.

"I didn't really say anything important. Don't mind me," CJ told him.

"Got it," Ernie said.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**CJ: **There is literally only one reason for me to stay here. With that in mind, why keep me around? I'm not going to win any challenges. I'm certainly not going to win the million dollars. I dunno. This game's weird.

**Ernie:** CJ's weird.

* * *

Barry and Judy had now returned to the foyer. Barry had found another soda in the den, so everybody other than Ernie had a soda.

"Alright, Ernie. Unless you can find yourself a soda in the next ten seconds, I'm officially throwing you out of the game!" Hatchet warned.

"Oh, you mean like this?" Ernie asked as he took a can of soda out from behind the pillow he was sleeping on.

"…Was that there the entire time?" David asked.

"Yup. So basically I've been set the entire time while you guys were busting your asses looking for sodas," Ernie said nonchalantly.

"Okay then. With that in mind, it's time for y'all to drink!" Hatchet announced. "Remember, the flavor of soda you get will determine who your teammates are.

The teens all opened their sodas and began drinking.

"Cool. I got cherry," Nolan said.

"I think I got lemon-lime," Preston noted.

"Is this… blue raspberry?" Jilly asked. "AWESOME!"

"Alright, all of y'all who got cherry flavor, go step on the red mat," Hatchet instructed as he gestured to a red mat on the floor. "Those of y'all with lemon-lime, y'all go on the yellow mat. Y'all who got blue raspberry can go step on the blue mat. MOVE, MAGGOTS! MOVE!"

Barry, CJ, Erica, Mac, Nolan, and Rachel all went on the red mat.

Bailey, Chappy, Franklin, Judy, Preston, Susan, and Ziggy all went on the yellow mat.

David, Ernie, Jilly, Kiki, Lauren, Spankety, and Tucker all went on the blue mat.

"Alright, in last place, with only six members, is the red team, which will now be known as Team Flame!" Hatchet announced.

"Well that blows," Erica huffed.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Barry:** I may have gotten last place, but that doesn't bother me. I've gone on mission trips before, so I know what it's like to live with little food and poor sleeping conditions.

**CJ**: Cool. If we keep this up, I'll be gone in no time.

**Rachel:** Let's see, I have Barry, Mac, and Nolan on my team, correct? They shouldn't be too hard to sway. I'll take control of my team first, then the rest of the game once the merge hits.

* * *

"In second place, as Judy was the second-to-last to arrive, is the yellow team, also known as Team Thunder!" Hatchet announced.

"What?! SECOND! This WILL NOT STAND!" Chappy roared.

"Hey, hey. We still won. We didn't get last," Judy said calmingly.

"No, but we didn't get first!" Chappy snapped.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Chappy:** I canNOT beLIEVE that I got *BLEEP*ING SECOND *BLEEP*ING PLACE! If we keep this up, I'll vote every one of those mother *bleep*ers on my team out of the game and become a team of *bleep*ing one! That'll show 'em!

**Judy:** This is going to be a long season…

**Franklin:** To be frank, ahem, so to speak, Chappy frightens me. If he reacts this way to every loss, he'll definitely be the first one gone on our team.

* * *

"…And in first place, since Tucker was the third-to-last to join us, is the blue team, Team Chill!" Hatchet announced.

"Team Chill? More like team _Jill_, am I right?!" Jilly joked.

"I don't get it," David said.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Kiki:** Yes! This is the best thing that could have happened to us! All four members of the Girls Alliance are on the same team. As for the boys, well, they don't seem like the best at the social game, so I don't think anyone here will miss them _too_ much.

**Ernie:** As per usual, I seem to be the smartest one of the group. This game shouldn't be difficult at all.

**David:** OHHH, wait! Her name's _Jill_y! And _Jill_ rhymes with _chill_! And that's our team name! I get it now! Hahaha.

* * *

"Alright. It's lunchtime, so y'all can go report to the mess hall for food," Hatchet said. "But not Team Flame. Y'all six get to stay in the backyard as punishment for getting in last place!"

Erica flipped Hatchet the bird.

"Girl, you do _not_ want to test my patience!" Hatchet told her as she and the rest of her team went out back.

Hatchet turned to face the camera. "How will losing this challenge affect Team Flame down the road? Will Kiki's alliance take over team Chill, or will Ernie back up his claims about bein' so smart? And what will happen with Chappy if Team Thunder loses another challenge? Y'all are gonna have to find out, next time on Total! _Drama!_ **HOUSE PARTY**!"


	3. Ep 02: For the Lava the Game

_A/N: Sorry this came out later than I'd said it would. I was busier this last weekend than I thought I would be. But anyway, it's here now, and that's what matters, right?_

* * *

"Last time on Total Drama House Party…" Hatchet stood in the foyer for the recap. "We met the twenty teenagers who will be competing this season for a million dollars. I gave them the grand tour, and then immediately dropped them into their first challenge: a scavenger hunt for different flavored cans of soda that determined their teams. In the end, we came out with three teams: Team Flame, Team Thunder, and Team Chill. Team Flame got the short end of the stick as they not only ended up with only six members, but they got last place and have to endure the punishments. However, the other teams aren't perfect either. Team Thunder has Chappy and Preston, who should both cause some drama, while Team Chill has Kiki's Girls Alliance, which could cause a power struggle. What will end up happening? Find out, ya fool! Only on Total! _Drama! __**HOUSE PARTY!**_"

* * *

It was morning, and the sun began to rise over the backyard, which would ordinarily not mean anything – however, Team Flame were forced to sleep out there for the night and were not happy about the sun shining on them so early.

"Aw, five more minutes, mom…" Mac groaned as he struggled to stay asleep.

"Can I just get voted out already…?" CJ moaned as she rubbed her eyes.

"It's okay, guys," Barry smiled. "We may not have it well off now, but that means it can only get better."

"You're soooo optimistic, Barry," Rachel purred.

"I always like to look on the bright side," Barry said. "After all, there's always someone who has it worse."

"How could this possibly get worse?" Erica grumbled.

"No! Never ask that question!" Nolan gasped. "Everyone knows that asking things like that will only make things worse."

"Well it's not like it's going to rain," CJ said. "It's summertime. The rainy season is over."

Mac stood up and cracked his back. "Aw, yeah. That's the stuff," Mac grinned.

"So, how'd you guys sleep?" Barry asked.

"I slept alright," Nolan shrugged. "Wish I had an actual bed, but that's the trade-off for getting last place."

"How is it a trade-off? A trade-off implies that we get something in return," CJ told him.

"We get to spend quality time together," Rachel said as she winked at Nolan and Mac.

"Ugh. Gag me," Erica spat.

"Come on, Erica. Rachel's right," Barry agreed. "I think this is the perfect time to get to know each other. After all, if we're going to play this game as a team, we should get along. Synergy is the best way to win challenges."

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Erica: **I don't care about any of my teammates. Mac's creepy, Nolan's crazy, Rachel's disgusting, and CJ complains too much. Barry's the only one I don't want to strangle.

**Nolan**: I suppose it wouldn't hurt to at least get to know my teammates. After all, if we're on friendly terms, they'll be more inclined to vote my way. Or rather, the way the dice decide I vote.

* * *

Down in the basement, Team Thunder slept much easier than Team Flame did. Since there were only four beds, some teammates had to share a bed. In fact, Chappy was the only one who had his own bed, and even then only because he was too large for anyone else to fit in his bed.

Just then, a loud alarm clock started beeping, waking everybody up. Chappy got out of bed, walked up to the alarm clock, and smashed it with his fist.

"Not a morning person, huh?" Judy asked.

"That alarm clock was a reminder that we lost yesterday," Chappy growled. "We may not have won last time, but we _will_ win every challenge from now on. You guys got that?"

"Uh, okay," Ziggy said.

"Look, we all want to win, but winning every challenge is easier said than done," Franklin said.

"Well then we're just going to have to try _extra_ hard, aren't we?" Chappy said as he raised a fist to Franklin.

"Hey! You back off!" Susan said as she approached Chappy, only to trip and fall.

"Guys, guys, guys," Judy said in an attempt to break up the argument. "Chappy's right. In this game, winning challenges could mean the difference between getting a million dollars, or walking away with nothing."

"So you're siding with him, are you?" Preston asked.

"Hold on," Judy told him. "Chappy, you have to realize that we're all trying our hardest here and that, despite that, sometimes we will lose challenges."

"Well then it seems your hardest isn't good enough!" Chappy snapped. "And if _any_ of you are the reason we lose a challenge, you _will_ be voted out, you got that?"

"…Okay…" Bailey squeaked in fear.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Chappy:** Look, I _will_ be winning this game, and I _will_ be winning these challenges. Losing will not be tolerated on my team, and I'm making sure they know that.

**Franklin:** Chappy is insane. People lose challenges; it's just a fact of life in this game. If he can't realize that, he'll likely be the first one on our team to lose the game.

* * *

Everyone was now eating breakfast in the dining hall. Team Chill was currently being served waffles and bacon by Yolonda.

"Waffles? Awesome!" David exclaimed. "How'd you know waffles were my favorite?"

"I didn't, but I'll be sure to keep that in mind, sugar," Yolonda winked as she gave David an extra waffle.

"Nice!" David said as he began to sloppily dig in to his waffles.

"Does the phrase 'table manners' mean anything to you?" Lauren asked in disgust. She turned to Jilly for affirmation, only to find that Jilly was eating her waffles in the same messy way.

"Dude, David, that Yolonda chick is totally into you," Tucker said with a nudge.

"You think?" David asked with his mouth full.

"Tucker thinks so. You're lucky, dude. Yolonda's hot," Tucker said.

"Personally I think she deserves better, but I'm not sure if she'd be interested," Lauren thought aloud.

"Hey, Lauren, could you pass the salt? Pretty please?" Spankety asked.

Lauren just looked at Spankety as if Spankety had said something rude to her.

"Pretty please with sugar on top?" Spankety pouted.

"Ernie, could you pass the salt to the clown?" Lauren asked.

"Why do I have to do it?" Ernie asked.

"Because I asked you to," Lauren replied.

"But Spankety asked _you_ to," Ernie rebutted.

Kiki facepalmed as she passed Spankety the salt.

"Thanks, Kiki!" Spankety smiled.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Lauren:** That clown girl – I refuse to call her by that foolish nickname – kind of gets on my nerves. Clowns are creepy as hell, and I think she knows it, because it's almost kind of disturbing how happy she is all the time.

**David:** Do you guys think Yolonda's into me? I don't know her all that well, but she _is_ pretty hot. I thought she seemed like the flirty type, but she gave me another waffle, and I've been wrong before, so who knows?

* * *

Meanwhile, Team Flame was enjoying their tap water and white bread as much as they could. They were all very hungry from being deprived of dinner the previous night, and anything would suffice at this point.

"This isn't fair," CJ stated. "I shouldn't even be here, let alone being treated like this."

"That's the hand fate dealt us I guess," Nolan said. "Only in this game, folding is permanent, so we just have to take the gamble."

"Nolan's right," Rachel said. "Besides, now's as good a time as any to get to know each other. Riiiiight, Barry?"

"Totally. Who wants to start?" Barry asked.

"Ooh! Me!" Mac raised his hand. "My name's Mackenzie Hurst. I'm 16 years old and I love pain and everything about it! Dealing, receiving, it's all good!"

"So you'd have no problem beating the crap out of anybody?" Erica asked.

"Well, I usually only hurt people who I think deserve it. Or myself. Whichever's more convenient, I guess," Mac shrugged.

"I'm surprised you haven't tried to hurt me yet," Erica grumbled.

"Why would I?" Mac cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"Because I'm a disgusting freak who scares children! How is that not deserving of a punch?!" Erica snapped.

"Erica, listen to me," Barry said calmingly. "You are _not_ disgusting, and you are _not_ a freak. You're a lovely child of God and you definitely don't deserve to get hurt because of what's on the outside."

"…I don't need your pity!" Erica got up and left the table as quickly as she could so no one would notice her blushing.

The five other members of Team Flame were silent as they watched Erica leave.

"Okay, so who wants to talk about themselves next?" Rachel asked.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Rachel: **The nice thing about my team is that there's zero chance that the other girls can get in the way of my plan. CJ's easily going to be the first one gone, so she's no problem, and Erica can't even hold a normal conversation without storming off. Nolan might not be easy to get on my side thanks to his stupid dice, but Barry and Mac seem nice and gullible, so that should help.

**Erica:** Does Barry even know what he's doing? How come people like Barry are even allowed to exist?! There should be a law against it! I'm voting him out as soon as I can! Asshole!

* * *

Chappy sat alone in the hall where the first-place rooms were.

"I should be in one of these rooms right now," he said to himself. "This is bullcrap!"

"I agree," Preston said as he approached Chappy and sat next to him. "We really do have some weak links on our team. It's not your fault we didn't win."

"Heh. No *bleep*!" Chappy scoffed. "Those two girls who are always with that one-eyed kid are holdin' us back. We should vote 'em out!"

"Good call," Preston said.

"Hey guys. What's up?" Judy asked as she noticed the two boys sitting down.

"Oh, I was just listening to Chappy talk about how we're in second place," Preston said.

"He seems to be taking it better than he did before," Judy said. "Are you helping him deal with losing better?"

"Isn't that what you're doing?" Preston asked.

"Who's to say we can't both do it?" Judy asked. "What do you think, Chappy?"

"Yeah, whatever. Just as long as we get first in this next challenge," Chappy said sternly.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Judy:** I think Chappy, Preston, and I could make a good trio. We're all relatively strong physically, and Preston seems really smart too, so we're a double-threat! I wonder what Franklin's trio would think. And what about Ziggy? Where would he fall? Oh well. This is for Chappy's sake, not strategy, so I guess it doesn't matter.

**Preston:** I came up to Chappy in order to form an alliance. After all, if we have someone like him on our team, there's no reason to vote me out. I lucked out with Judy coming by too, because it seems like she'd vote with Chappy, and she'll be helpful in challenges as well. I could probably also get Ziggy on our side, but not now. You have to take your time with these things so it looks natural.

* * *

Kiki, Lauren, Spankety, and Jilly all went to the rec room to hold an alliance meeting.

"Okay, girls. Alliance meeting," Kiki told them.

"Yo, that's what's up!" Jilly replied.

"What's the meeting for?" Spankety asked.

"I just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page," Kiki said. "I noticed some tension between Lauren and Spankety at breakfast and I just wanted to make sure everything's okay."

"I didn't notice any tension," Spankety said innocently.

"Do you even comprehend emotions besides 'super happy gleeful happy'?" Lauren asked sardonically.

"Yes. I understand regular happy just fine," Spankety said, somewhat hurt. "What's wrong with being happy anyway?"

"Nothing's wrong with being happy. I enjoy being happy, in fact," Lauren said. "My problem with you is that you're a clown, which is just creepy and unnatural."

"Oh no! I didn't mean to creep you out!" Spankety gasped. "I'm really sorry, honest!"

"Like, why would you even want to become a clown anyway?" Lauren asked.

"Well, one time at school I met this girl named Vikki, who's also a clown, and…" Spankety started.

"It was a rhetorical question!" Lauren snapped.

"Lauren, I think you need to calm down," Kiki told her.

"Whatever. I'm getting breakfast," Lauren said as she went for the door.

"We already had breakfast," Kiki reminded her.

"Well I'm getting _second_ breakfast!" Lauren insisted.

"Okay… meeting adjourned I guess," Kiki shrugged. She, Jilly, and Spankety all left the rec room.

As soon as they left, Ernie peeked his head out from behind the pool table.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Ernie: **So I decide to, like, take a nap in the rec room, and what should happen but the girls on my team basically telling me they're all in an alliance. Not only that, but Lauren hates Spankety, which I could, ya know, like, use to my advantage or something.

**Spankety:** I didn't know Lauren didn't like clowns! How sad that must be! Clowns are the sources of happiness for the world, and Lauren… I can't even imagine. Poor girl… I think she needs ten billion hugs! That should help her out!

* * *

Nolan and CJ were currently in the video game room as CJ watched Nolan play Dance Dance Revolution. He had just finished dancing and was taking a break.

"You don't have to follow me everywhere, you know," Nolan panted. "I know we're in an alliance, but that doesn't mean you have to stay with me all the time."

"What else am I even supposed to do?" CJ asked. "I don't know anyone else because there's no point, and there's nothing else to do here."

"Come on, I'm sure that's not true," Nolan told her. "You could hang out with another person from Team Flame."

"Like who?" CJ scoffed. "You're the closest thing to a tolerable person on our team."

"Barry's nice," Nolan shrugged.

"Yeah, _too_ nice," CJ said.

"Alright then. Just don't complain to me about not having allies," Nolan said.

"Why would I? I don't care," CJ reminded him.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Nolan:** I'm already starting to regret letting CJ join me in an alliance. Granted, I didn't really have a say in the matter, but I do wish I'd landed an ally who actually _wanted_ to win the game.

**CJ:** You see, normally I _would_ just keep to myself and not hang out with anyone. But… gah, I can't believe I'm about to admit this! I don't have many friends at home, and Nolan's the first person to talk to me since I don't know how long. I'm going to milk it for as long as I can until I'm eliminated. Hey, I may be dry and antisocial, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy company every once in a while. Besides, it'll be over quickly anyway, so it's not a big deal.

* * *

Franklin, Susan, and Bailey were currently on the balcony that overlooked the backyard.

"I just can't stand it," Susan pouted. "How can _anyone_ on our team take Chappy's side?"

"…Um… well…" Bailey started.

"Judy didn't really take his side per se," Franklin assured her. "She just pointed out the points of view of both sides in an attempt to synergize. Rather noble intentions, I'd say."

"I guess, but still," Susan said. "It just makes me so flustered when someone plays devil's advocate. Why can't good be good and bad be bad? It makes things so much simpler that way!"

"Sadly that's not how the world works," Franklin said. "Sometimes good people can do bad things and sometimes bad people can do good things."

"When do bad people ever do good things?" Susan asked.

"Well, my parents would get me McDonald's every Thursday when I was a kid, before…" Franklin quickly caught himself. "Nevermind. Forget I said anything"

"Alright. I just wish people would be up-front about who they are," Susan said. "What if Judy really is a bad person?"

"I don't think she is," Franklin said. "I think she's a good person who just likes to involve herself in the business of others."

"I don't know. I'm confused. I'm going to use the restroom." Susan stood up and left for the bathroom. Franklin and Bailey looked at each other in concern as she did so.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Franklin:** I'm not sure what Susan has against a middle ground when it comes to morality. Maybe she has some demons from her past, like I do. Maybe I should talk with her.

**Bailey:** (_She is reading from a _paper) I think I understand what's going on with Susan. While she is my best friend in the game, even I can't help but acknowledge that she is not the most intelligent contestant in this game. I have the feeling she doesn't comprehend the idea of grey morality – all she sees is black and white. I wonder how she managed to get that way. Perhaps I'll ask her later today.

* * *

Tucker was currently in one of the first-class rooms, searching through someone's luggage.

"Come on, come on, come on. Come to Tucker…" Tucker grinned as he continued searching.

"Do I want to know what you're doing?" David asked as he entered the room.

"It's called the Tucker Double Whammy," Tucker grinned.

"Great," David said sarcastically. "Whose room is this, anyway?"

"Spankety's," Tucker said as he pulled a pair of blue panties with pink polka-dots out from the suitcase. "And Bingo was his name-o!"

"You're stealing her underwear, aren't you?!" David accused.

"You know it. Oh, but here's the best part." Tucker took a large, rubber spider from his pocket and placed it in the suitcase. "This is gonna be _great_," Tucker beamed.

"I thought you said you didn't prank girls," David said angrily.

"Tucker doesn't prank _hot_ girls," Tucker said smugly. "And let's face it: clowns aren't hot. There's probably someone out there who thinks they are, but that person isn't Tucker. Her panties, however, are another story."

"What if I tell on you?!" David threatened. "What would you do about that?"

"Tell some convincing lies of course," Tucker smirked. "Tucker could easily pin the crime on _you_. Is that what you want?"

"Well… no…" David confessed.

"Good. Then we have a deal. You don't rat on Tucker, and Tucker doesn't pin it on you," Tucker said. "What they don't know can't hurt them, right?" Tucker chuckled as he left Spankety's room.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Tucker:** The nice thing about being discovered by David is that David is a moron. If it were someone smarter, like Lauren, Tucker might be in deep trouble. Thankfully Tucker got lucky. If this keeps up, Tucker could have David in his back pocket. Heheheh.

**David:** I just don't know what to do, man. I want to tell the truth, but if I do, Tucker's just going to turn it around on me and I could end up going home. Normally when I'm upset I go play my guitar, but I don't think there's anywhere with amps in here, so basically I'm stuck.

* * *

The twenty houseguests were all gathered in the foyer by the request of Hatchet.

"Alright, kids, LISTEN UP!" Hatchet barked. "It's time for your first challenge." Hatchet approached the front door and opened it.

"Cool, is the game over already?" CJ asked with a smile.

"Shut your trap, CJ," Hatchet responded. "Outside the front gate is a bus that will take y'all to the site of our first challenge. Get on board the Bus of Horrors so we can get this underway."

Hatchet gestured towards the open door, which prompted the contestants to exit the house. Sure enough, the gate was open and there was an open bus waiting for them to board it. One by one, the teenagers all entered the bus and took a seat. Hatchet was the last person to board, as he sat on the driver's seat and closed the bus doors.

"Alright, kids. Let's do this!" Hatchet said as the bus started moving.

On the bus, a lot of people were restless to discover what the first challenge would be.

"I wonder why we'd need to use a bus to get to this challenge," Susan thought aloud.

"Probably because it's far away and the bus is an efficient way to carry a lot of people to one place," Ziggy shrugged.

"…Yeah, you're probably right," Susan agreed.

"I just wanna know what the challenge is gonna be," Jilly said.

"I hope it's something painful," Mac grinned.

"Knowing this show, that's entirely possible," Franklin said with a slight shudder.

"It don't matter what the challenge is, because Team Thunder _will_ be getting first place," Chappy gloated.

"I'm sure," Kiki remarked under her breath.

In the back of the bus, Tucker was grinning pervertedly at Spankety.

"Hi, Tucker. How's your day?" Spankety asked cheerily.

"Oh, Tucker's day has been just fine. Heheheheh," Tucker chuckled.

"That's good. You have a big smile on your face, and if there's one thing a clown loves to see, it's a smile. So you're making me happy too!" Spankety smiled.

"Well what do you know? You're the reason Tucker is so happy today. Er, you must be doing a very good job at being a clown."

"Aw, thanks!"

David, who overheard the entire conversation, gripped his seat hard in order to keep himself under control.

"What's the matter with you?" Erica, his seat partner, asked. "Nope, don't even answer that. I know the reason. I don't like sitting with me either, but sometimes we just have to deal, don't we?"

"Alright, kids! Calm yourselves down! We're here!" Hatchet announced.

As the contestants exited the bus, the first thing they noticed was what looked to be a very large play structure that could easily have been the size of the McLean Mansion. The ground was entirely covered in bark, and the area had a large structure of red-, yellow-, and blue-colored plastic which had slides, monkey bars, swings, and the like all connected to it.

"Welcome… to the Playground of Pain!" Hatchet bellowed.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Mac:** This… this is the greatest thing that's ever happened! A playground dedicated to the very idea of pain! Heeheehahaha! I'm in heaven!

**Bailey: **_(she is reading from a paper) _I theorize that the first reaction one would have to such a place would be one of fear or discomfort. I, however, find the idea of a 'Playground of Pain' to be quite beneficial to our team. With such extroverted members of our team as Chappy, Judy, and Susan enclosed in a house for a majority of the game, it's refreshing to learn that they can let their energy out in such a wide, open area. Thanks to this Playground of Pain, these teammates of ours won't be so high-strung and as such will be less stressed, which will benefit everyone involved. Yay.

**Jilly:** Aw yeah, this is DOPE!

* * *

"Listen up and listen good," Hatchet commanded. "Since the McLean Mansion ain't exactly fit for physical challenges that require wide-open spaces, we commissioned this large play structure to be built to serve that purpose. Using Chris's money of course. Heheheheh."

The contestants looked at each other warily.

"Our first challenge is one y'all might be familiar with," Hatchet said. "A childhood favorite known as The Floor is Lava!"

"You can't be serious," CJ said flatly.

"I'm _dead_ serious, girl! Now, for those who don't know how this game works, allow me to explain it to you," Hatchet said as he paced back and forth in front of the contestants. "The twenty of you will get on that big play structure. You have two goals: Goal One is to push your opponents off the structure. Goal Two is to avoid getting pushed off yourself. The team whose members all hit the bark first will be in last place and will face elimination tonight."

"Oh no!" Susan gasped.

"Oh _yes_!" Hatchet responded menacingly. "Anyway, after that team loses, y'all will still be competing for first place, so don't forget! Any questions?"

Nobody seemed to have any questions.

"Alright. Time to start the challenge! Move, maggots, MOVE!" Hatchet barked.

The twenty houseguests were now all scattered across the play structure, waiting for Hatchet's signal to start the challenge.

"Are you maggots ready?!" Hatchet asked rhetorically.

"Most definitely," Tucker grinned.

Hatchet procured an air horn from his pocket and set it off. The loud wail of the horn signified that the challenge had begun.

"Welp, see you guys at elimination," CJ said as she jumped off the play structure.

"Oh come on!" Erica whined. "We're already one behind!"

"Mac, you want to take this challenge by the horns?" Barry asked.

"You read my mind. Heeheehahaha!" Mac cackled.

Mac dashed up to Ziggy, picked him up, and tossed him off the play structure.

"Ow," Ziggy winced.

"And CJ and Ziggy are already out of the challenge!" Hatchet announced.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Barry:** Mac and I are both physical threats, which should come in handy in Playground challenges. Mac especially gives us an upper hand thanks to his, er, affinity towards physical pain. Not saying I'm okay with hurting others, but so far he hasn't done anything I'd really object to, which is nice.

* * *

Jilly and Lauren decided to pair up for the challenge.

"Alright! Who should we go for?" Jilly asked. "Should we take out the smaller guys, or work together and take out the big guys?"

"Let's settle for the small ones. We have our own big guys to take out their big guys," Lauren yawned.

"We do?" Jilly asked as she glanced at Ernie, who was taking a nap on the play structure, as well as Tucker, who placed a rubber spider on Ernie's head.

"Well, we have David," Lauren shrugged.

Right when she finished saying that, David fell off a set of monkeybars as he tried to swing across them.

"Aw, come on!" David groaned.

"David is out!" Hatchet announced.

"Alright then. Let's try for Judy," Lauren smirked. "If we get her off, that'd cost Team Thunder big time."

"That's what's up!" Jilly agreed.

"Great. Let's go."

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Lauren: **Snrk. The actual reason I picked Judy is because she easily has the best body of the ladies here. Maybe if I get physical with her here, she'd be willing to get physical later on, if you know what I'm saying.

* * *

Chappy was currently prepping himself for the challenge by cracking his neck and knuckles.

"With you on our team, we're going to be unstoppable," Preston told him. "Plus, we have Franklin and Judy as well. This challenge is as good as ours."

"You got that right," Chappy agreed. "This time we'll be getting first, as it should be!"

"Indeed. It honestly shocks me that we got a mere second last time," Preston said.

"Last time was all chance. This time, we can really show our stuff," Chappy spat.

Preston was about to respond, but he paused when a set of dice rolled up to his feet.

"Excuse me, fellows," Nolan said peacefully as he approached them. He glanced down at the dice. "Hm. It seems that my strategy in this challenge is to assist my fellow teammates to eliminate threats on the other team. Not my first choice, but I'll take it. Now, if you'll excuse me-"

Nolan stepped out of the way as Chappy lunged towards him. Chappy, due to his momentum, kept running and ended up running right off the edge.

"Chappy is out!" Hatchet announced.

"Aw hell no!" Chappy swore.

"Don't worry, Chappy. We'll get first place yet," Preston assured him. He turned to Nolan. "I can't help but admire your dodging tactic. I'll let you go this once if you promise not to get me out for the rest of the challenge. Deal?"

"Deal," Nolan nodded as the two went their separate ways.

* * *

Susan, Rachel, Kiki, and Spankety all found themselves confronting one another in the middle of one of the play structures.

"As we stood on the play structure, one thing crossed our minds. Invincibility. The one thing that ensured that we stay in the running for a million dollars hung in the balance of this encounter. Who would come out on top? Would it be Susan, the quirky yet clumsy girl? Rachel, the flirtatious girl? Or perhaps Kiki and Spankety, the two best friends who-"

"Spankety? What are you doing?" Kiki interrupted.

"Providing the voiceover for our confrontation. It makes it all cool and dramatic-y," Spankety beamed.

"So, how are we going to go about this?" Rachel asked.

"Two on two? Us versus Team Chill?" Susan suggested to Rachel.

"I'll take Spankety, you take Kiki?" Rachel suggested back.

"Sounds good to me," Susan replied.

"I'm glad we get input on this," Kiki said as she rolled her eyes. "Spankety, let's team up on Rachel."

"Hey, that's not fair. We decided," Susan pouted as Kiki and Spankety both started pushing Rachel towards the edge.

"It was Kiki's quick thinking that put Team Chill in the lead. She and her best friend, Spankety, both began to push on Rachel in order to get her out of the challenge. All Susan could do was stand there helplessly as-"

Spankety's voiceover was cut off by Susan pushing on Spankety and Kiki, causing all four girls to tumble off the edge of the play structure.

"Susan, Kiki, Spankety, and Rachel are all out!" Hatchet announced. "That leaves all three teams at four each."

"See, now if you just listened to us…" Rachel giggled.

"Don't say a word," Kiki said flatly.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Kiki:** It's not my fault. My parents always told me how brilliant I am from a young age. I'm used to my ideas going off without a hitch. Obviously nobody's perfect, but come on!

**Rachel:** I guess I took them down with me, didn't I? Hmhm. I suppose I should thank Susan later for pulling that move. I didn't think she had it in her.

**Susan:** I dunno what happened. It just came to me. Didn't turn out so well for me since I fell off, but I think taking out three of my opponents is worth it. Shame, too. They all seemed like such nice girls.

* * *

Erica sat cross-legged in the middle of a slide, refusing to go the rest of the way down.

"Hello, Erica. How fare you?" Nolan greeted.

"Don't give me that," Erica sneered.

"Right. Well, at the behest of my dice, I will be assisting my teammates to take out the larger threats in this challenge," Nolan told her.

"So why are you talking to me about it?" Erica asked.

"Well, I had assumed you would be participating in the challenge. However, it seems that, based on your current position, you aren't willing to help. Is that an accurate assumption?" Nolan asked.

"Why are you talking like that? It's annoying," Erica responded.

"Ah, well, for the duration of the challenge, I will be acting as the calculating gentleman, as per usual when I roll a seven," Nolan explained.

"Why don't you go help Mac or Barry or something?" Erica growled.

"As you wish," Nolan said simply as he turned to leave Erica alone. When he turned, though, he was face-to-face with Judy.

"Sorry, Nolan. You're time's up," Judy smiled slightly as she pushed Nolan down the slide, causing him and Erica to fall to the bark below.

"And there go Nolan and Erica!" Hatchet announced.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Nolan:** Real talk: I hope Erica goes soon. She's very rude and acts simultaneously like the biggest martyr and the most self-righteous person I've ever met. How is that even possible?

**Erica:** Why should I bother participating in the challenge? It's not like it'll earn anyone's respect, and besides, CJ's already volunteered to be the first boot on our team.

* * *

Franklin and Bailey patrolled together for the challenge.

"…Th-thanks… for… staying with me…" Bailey managed to say.

"You're welcome," Franklin smiled. "I wouldn't want my friend to be… afraid and alone…" Franklin's smile dropped into a serious scowl for a brief second.

"Are you okay…?" Bailey asked.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me," Franklin told her without making eye contact.

"Well well well. Look who it is," Tucker smirked as he approached the two. "Cyclops and Mumbles. How's it been?"

"What do you want, Tucker?" Franklin sighed.

"Well, Tucker _really_ wants a harem of gorgeous women who refer to him as 'Master' and will do whatever he commands, buuuut, he'll also settle for getting you two out of the challenge," Tucker chuckled.

"You can feel free to try, but I'm both taller and stronger than you, and Bailey is a girl, and you wouldn't hit a girl, would you?" Franklin asked.

"Eh. Depends on if she's hot or not," Tucker shrugged. "And to be honest, she's like a four maybe."

Franklin grabbed Tucker by the collar of his shirt, hung him over the edge of the play structure, and dropped him.

"…Thanks," Bailey smiled.

"No problem. People like him really need to be taken down a peg," Franklin said with a shake of his head.

The two of them tried to walk away, but a hand grabbed Franklin's ankle.

"Huh?!" Franklin turned his head to see Tucker hanging onto the play structure by one hand and holding onto Franklin with the other.

"Tucker won't go down so easily!" Tucker shouted. He let go of the play structure and began to pull on Franklin's ankle, causing the both of them to fall off the structure.

"Franklin and Tucker are out!" Hatchet announced.

"Oh no…" Bailey shuddered.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Bailey:** _(she is reading from a paper) _I'm not really one for confrontations, and it was at this moment, with the loss of Franklin, that I was considering dropping out from the challenge altogether. However, I knew that, meek though I may be, my team was depending on me to win. Any disadvantage in the challenge could spell the difference between facing elimination or not, and that's not something I want to risk.

**Tucker:** Tucker can't help but wonder what kind of panties Mumbles wears. Yeah, sure, she's not hot or anything, but panties, no matter the owner, are _always_ hot. Tucker has a bit of a fetish for them. Heheheheh.

* * *

Barry and Mac were working together to find and pick off members of the other team. They had already taken out Preston and Jilly and were looking for more people to go against.

"So, Mac. I'm curious: when did you figure out you had a thing for pain?" Barry asked.

"I dunno, man. It's been a thing as long as I can remember," Mac said. "When I was a kid, it led me to a lot of injuries. But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Heeheehahaha!"

"I guess so. I trust you know what you're doing," Barry said. "Hey, is that guy sleeping?" he asked as he pointed to Ernie, who was napping against a wall on the play structure.

"Well. That was easy. Heeheehahaha!" Mac cackled as he picked Ernie up, spun him around, and tossed him off the play structure.

"And Ernie is out!" Hatchet announced.

"Wow. He's a heavy sleeper," Barry noted as he saw that Ernie was still asleep.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Ernie:** Heh. I was never actually asleep. I just knew that I'd, ya know, do better in the challenge by, like, doing nothing and staying out of the way than I would by taking action. I outlasted David, didn't I?

* * *

Lauren found her way to Judy and decided to strike up a conversation.

"Hey, Judy, how's it going?" Lauren asked informally.

"You're Lauren, right? It's going well. How about with you?" Judy responded.

"Can't complain, can't complain. Only… there is _one_ thing…" Lauren trailed off.

"Oh no. Is there anything I can do to help?" Judy asked with concern.

"I guess, if you want," Lauren admitted. "You see, it's been _so_ long since I've made out with a girl, and my libido's going out of control, and it's clouding everything else. I just can't take it anymore!"

"Oh, well, I can't say I'm comfortable with kissing other girls, but-" Judy was cut off by Lauren holding a finger to the former's mouth.

"Shh shh shhhhh. It's okay. I understand," Lauren said. She then gave a powerful push to Judy, causing the athletic girl to stumble back and fall off the play structure.

"And down goes Judy!" Hatchet announced.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Lauren:** So, Judy doesn't want to kiss me, huh? That sucks. I bet she'd be heavenly. Lovely tan like that, and those legs, oh my gosh. Oh well. I'm sure I'll find _some_ way to curb my libido.

**Judy:** I'm sure Lauren is a perfectly nice person, but she does come off rather strong, doesn't she? I'm glad we're not on the same team, because I'm still not entirely sure how to deal with that when talking to her.

* * *

Bailey wandered nervously around the play structure, hoping that nobody would find her and throw her off.

"Oh my…" Bailey shuddered.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Bailey:** _(she is reading from a paper)_ Apparently I was the last one on my team left at the end of the challenge. Needless to say, I was rather anxious that I would cost our team the challenge. I don't see how one could blame me, seeing as how I was up against two large young men and a girl who is both taller and thinner than I am. I figured I'd just let things flow naturally and hopefully I'd be the last girl standing.

* * *

Bailey hid herself behind a wall on the play structure as Barry and Mac met up with Lauren near the middle.

"So, it's come down to this," Mac grinned.

"Hold on, isn't there still someone from Team Thunder in this?" Barry asked.

"Yeah, that short chubby girl," Lauren answered.

Bailey frowned at being called 'chubby', but she did not react verbally.

"Do you think we should go find her?" Barry asked.

"Be my guest. Mac here and I can duke it out just fine," Lauren assured with a crack of her neck.

Bailey tried to sneak off, but since she wasn't far from the other three, it wasn't difficult for Barry to find her.

"Hey, Bailey. Mac, Lauren and I are going to finish the challenge up over there. Would you like to join us?" Barry asked.

"No thanks…" Bailey replied softly.

"Are you sure? We were really hoping you'd join us," Barry said with a slight frown.

"I'm sure…" Bailey assured him.

"Okay, but if you ever change your mind, I'll be over there," Barry reminded her.

"I know," Bailey said flatly.

"Cool. I'll let them know you're over here," Barry said.

"No!" Bailey gasped as she grabbed Barry and pushed him off the edge.

"Barry is out!" Hatchet announced.

"…What was _that_?" Barry asked as he rubbed his head.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Bailey: **_(she is reading from a paper) _I suppose I neglected to mention this before, but I take my introversion very seriously. If someone insists on drawing the attention of strangers or enemies to me, I have a tendency to snap and try to avoid it by any means necessary. I believe it to be a natural reflex.

* * *

Lauren and Mac continued to push each other towards the edge of the play structure. Mac, being the bigger and stronger of the two, was making better progress. Lauren was right next to the edge with Mac pushing against her.

"Oh man, this is going to be _great_," Mac grinned. "I get to win a challenge by causing others pain! How amazing is this?! Heeheehahaha!"

"It's not… over… yet…" Lauren grunted as she attempted to push back.

Bailey tried to sneak past the two, but Lauren took notice.

"Hey, is that Bailey?" Lauren asked.

"Huh?" Mac turned his head to look, and sure enough, there she was.

Lauren used this distraction to her advantage as she pushed Mac away from her, only for him to push back harder, causing Lauren to fall off the play structure and onto the bark.

"Lauren is out! Team Chill takes last place and _will_ be votin' someone out tonight!" Hatchet announced.

"Goddammit!" Lauren swore.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Lauren:** Ah, whatever. I may have lost the challenge, and I may have turned Judy off to making out with me, but it's no skin off my nose. I'm in an alliance of four on a team of seven. I'm safe.

* * *

Mac approached Bailey with a large, almost creepy smile.

"Are you ready to taste the _pain_?" Mac giggled.

"No…" Bailey whimpered as she backed away from him.

"Come on, please? It won't hurt _that_ bad," Mac assured.

"…" Bailey squeaked.

"Well, if you don't want it from me, you can expect it from the ground," Mac shrugged.

"Huh?" Bailey turned around to find that she was inches from the edge of the play structure. She sighed and dropped out.

"Bailey is out and Team Thunder takes second! Team Flame wins first place!" Hatchet announced.

"Come on!" Chappy bellowed.

"At least we're not in last," Ziggy said. Chappy glared at him, which shut him up.

"Team Chill, meet me in the foyer at 2100 hours sharp. Everyone else: DISMISSED!" Hatchet shouted.

* * *

Kiki had gathered Lauren, Jilly, and Spankety in one of the bathrooms to discuss strategy.

"Alright, girls. Obviously we'll be voting out one of the guys," Kiki said.

"Aw, that sounds so mean though," Spankety frowned.

"It's part of the game. You lose a challenge, you vote someone out," Lauren said in annoyance.

"Right, and the guys are the only ones not aligned with us," Kiki said. "That being said, I'd like to vote out Tucker. Of the three, he grates on me the most."

"I agree, man. The way he talks about himself in the third person is just… weird," Jilly agreed.

"Because none of us are weird in any way," Lauren giggled sarcastically.

"Aw, but I liked Tucker," Spankety frowned. "He was funny."

"Is there anyone you _don't_ like?" Lauren asked spitefully.

"Well, that Osama guy seemed like kind of a meanie," Spankety admitted.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Kiki:** I think I can trust my alliance members to vote out Tucker. I think after hearing 'Tucker thinks you're totally hot,' they should be more than willing to throw a vote his way.

**Spankety:** I hope Lauren learns to like clowns soon. How can she learn to love if she cannot learn to laugh?

* * *

Ernie, David, and Tucker were currently meeting in the rec room.

"So, why'd you call us all in here?" David asked.

"Yeah, Tucker has things to do," Tucker added.

"Okay, so, I actually overheard that the girls on our team are all in an alliance, so I was thinking we should, ya know, form an alliance of our own, so we could, like, fight back or something," Ernie explained.

"Cool. So who are we voting for?" David asked.

"I'm thinking Spankety," Ernie said.

"Weirdo clown girl? Fine be Tucker," Tucker shrugged.

"Why her?" David asked.

"Well, it turns out Lauren doesn't really like Spankety all that much, so if I get her to, ya know, vote for her, we can get the four votes we need to, like, get her voted out. This could be our only chance to get rid of the girls' majority, ya know?"

"I guess that makes sense," David decided.

"Tucker's down with voting out Spankety," Tucker agreed.

"Cool. I'm'a go, like talk to Lauren and see if I can't get her vote. Toodles," Ernie said as he left the room.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**David:** I'd honestly prefer to vote out Tucker, so I can get this whole 'panty thief' secret off my chest, but Ernie seems to know what he's doing. I'm what you might call an 'idiot savant'. When it comes to metal, I'm second to none, but everything else… kinda foreign to me. Since Ernie has the strategy thing down, I think I should just listen to him, even if that means keeping Tucker.

**Tucker:** Spankety's the perfect one to vote out. Since Tucker already has her most intimate possession, we might as well get rid of her before she figures it out. Although, even if she did, she'd probably forgive Tucker anyway. Heheheh.

* * *

Lauren was all by herself, sunbathing in the backyard.

"You know, if losing means I can stay out hear and catch some rays, I think I'd be okay with losing form time to time," Lauren sighed contentedly.

"Hey, Lauren," Ernie said as he walked outside.

"What is it Ernie?" Lauren asked.

"Alright, so, the guys and I were talking, and, like, we wanted to know if you would be okay with voting out Spankety tonight," Ernie told her.

"Spankety, you say?" Lauren asked as she directed her attention to Ernie. "I'm interested."

"We just feel like Spankety has the best social game of the others on our team, and we were wondering if you wanted to, ya know, join us in voting her out. No doubt you'd have the best social game if Spankety left," Ernie explained.

"You raise some good points," Lauren admitted. "I'll consider it."

"I trust you'll make the right decision," Ernie said as he left her be.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Ernie:** The good of the game, like, relies on how Lauren votes tonight. If Tucker leaves, I'm as good as screwed. If Spankety leaves, I could, ya know, take control of the entire team. Time will tell, I suppose.

**Lauren:** Am I really considering voting out someone in my alliance? Of course I am. Spankety is obnoxious and needs to have that painted-on smile wiped off her face. Of course, Ernie went up and basically told me to vote out Spankety like he's the big man on campus, so maybe I _will_ vote for Tucker just to spite him. Decisions, decisions…

* * *

David found Spankety standing in the middle of one of the halls trying to juggle four balls at once.

"Hey, Spankety?" David asked.

"Why, if it isn't David. Howdy-do, David!" Spankety greeted.

"Uh, howdy-do," David replied awkwardly. "Look, there's something I hafta tell you."

"David, I think it's sweet that you like me, but-"

"What? No, that's not it!" David insisted. "Don't tell _anyone_ I told you this, but Tucker stole a pair of your panties earlier today and is going to vote you out tonight at the elimination."

"But why would Tucker do that? Tucker seems like such a nice boy," Spankety said.

"He does?" David asked. "Tucker's the short Jewish one who pulls pranks on people."

"Yeah, I know," Spankety smiled.

"Okay, just, be careful, alright?" David asked.

"Will do!"

* * *

**Confessional:**

**David:** I figured I might as well warn Spankety that she's about to go. It's the least I could do.

**Spankety:** David's so silly. Heehee.

* * *

The seven members of Team Chill sat on one of the couches in the foyer. Hatchet came down the grand staircase carrying what looked like an ice box. He set the ice box down next to him as he stood across from the contestants.

"Contestants! Welcome to your first elimination ceremony!" Hatchet greeted. "It seems that one of you will be the first one to leave this game."

"What's the ice box all about?" Jilly asked.

"This season, your symbols of safety will be cans of soda," Hatchet explained. "That's why the last hidden soda from our first challenge will serve as an automatic symbol of safety and will prevent you from being eliminated if ya play it at an elimination ceremony."

"Interesting…" Kiki muttered.

"Awright, the first soda goes to… Lauren!" Hatchet said as he pulled a soda from the ice box and tossed it to Lauren, who caught it.

"Jilly."

"David."

"Kiki."

"Ernie."

Tucker and Spankety sat in anticipation for who would receive the final can of soda.

"Huh. Voted for Tucker, huh? How cute," Tucker smirked.

All Spankety could muster was a scared frown.

"Tucker and Spankety. One of y'all is safe. The other must walk out the Door of Shame and take the Taxi of Shame out of here."

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"…Tucker, you are safe."

"Alright. Tucker lives on another day!" Tucker cheered as he caught the soda Hatchet tossed to him.

"Spankety, it's time for you to go," Hatchet told the clown girl.

Spankety had nothing to say. Her face was frozen in an open-mouthed frown. She looked to her teammates, then to Hatchet, then to the Door of Shame.

"I'm sorry, girl," Hatchet said solemnly.

Spankety was clearly holding back tears as she trudged out of the McLean Mansion.

"Well, if tonight proved anythin', it's that you never know where your loyalties lie. I'll escort you to the backyard now."

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Kiki:** What happened?! We had four votes on our side for Tucker. Me, Spankety, Jilly, and…. LAUREN! _(she facepalms)_ Goddammit, Lauren! She hated Spankety! How did I not see this coming?! Well, rest assured, this is not the last you'll see of Kiki Koizumi! I'll strike back! Somehow…

* * *

"And with that, we have our first elimination," Hatchet said to the camera. "Will Kiki recover from losing an alliance member? Will Bailey learn to open up? Will Rachel's plan succeed? All this and more, next time on Total! _DRAMA! __**HOUSE PARTY!**_"

* * *

**Votes:**

**David: **Well, it really sucks, but I have to vote for Spankety. Ernie said that voting for her will 'ensure my safety in the game or something,' and I do want to stay in the game… I'm sorry.

**Ernie:** Spankety, no hard feelings, but, like, you leaving is the only way I can stand a chance in this game.

**Jilly:** Your girl's voting for Tucker. I don't trust that boy one bit.

**Kiki:** I don't think I'll be breaking any hearts by voting out Tucker tonight. He's annoying, plain and simple.

**Lauren:** I'll be voting for, wait for it… Spankety. Think about it. If I vote for Spankety, it keeps my options open. I could take whichever side I want and still be in power. Plus, she's a clown, which is gross.

**Spankety:** I'm really, truly sorry, but I vote for Tucker. Kiki said it's for the best.

**Tucker:** Tucker votes for Spankety. He already has her panties, plus, she's not even hot. Good riddance.

_Spankety – 4_

Tucker – 3

* * *

_A/N: Welp, there goes Spankety. Spankety's a character I've wanted to use for a bit: a clown character who seem isn't an evil killer clown, but still ends up the first boot anyway due to a teammate's fear of clowns. Whether you liked her or not, it seems that she just wasn't cut out for this game, and so she becomes the first boot._


	4. Ep 03: Sleepless in Toronto

_A/N: Figured I'd get some more House Party done. I'm on summer break so I'll get more time to write. So yay._

* * *

"Last time on Total Drama House Party…" Hatchet stood in the foyer for the recap. "I introduced the houseguests to the Playground of Pain, which will be used for the more physical challenges. Some players, like Mac and Lauren, tore it up out there, while others, like Ernie and CJ, didn't even try. On Team Flame, Rachel and Barry suggested team bonding, though Erica had other plans. On Team Thunder, Preston formed an alliance with Chappy and Judy, with intent to take control of the team. On Team Chill, Tucker caught David into some blackmail while simultaneously stealing some of his teammates' panties. The losers of the challenge were Team Chill, and Ernie managed to convince Lauren to vote out Spankety due to her hatred towards clowns, and the clown girl was sent home. Team Thunder currently has the numbers advantage with seven. Can they keep it up? Find out, ya fool! Only on Total! _Drama! __**HOUSE PARTY!**_"

* * *

"Well that sucked," Jilly said bluntly as the six members of Team Chill went outside to the backyard after the elimination ceremony.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Ernie grinned. "I thought it went, ya know, pretty well."

"Well yeah, you would say that!" Jilly retorted. "Thanks to you, my girl Spankety is gone!"

"Well I hope you didn't, like, expect me to vote out my ally," Ernie told her. "If you should be mad at anyone, be mad at Lauren. She was, ya know, the swing vote."

"Whoah, way to throw me under the bus," Lauren scowled.

"Can't we let this go, just for tonight?" David asked. "I'd rather get some sleep tonight."

"Tucker agrees. It's been a long day," Tucker said.

"No! Since my girl Kiki can't speak for herself, and my best friend betrayed our alliance, I need to sort things out!" Jilly frowned.

"I betrayed nobody," Lauren told her. "I'm still a part of the Girls' Alliance. I just took out the least desirable member of the alliance. For… the sake of alliance synergy. Yeah."

Kiki grabbed Lauren by the ear and dragged her to a secluded corner of the backyard.

"Okay, ow, ow, ow. That's my ear," Lauren complained.

"What were you thinking?!" Kiki whispered. "Thanks to you, we lost the edge our alliance had!"

"Well it's not my fault you let the clown freak into our alliance. I had no choice," Lauren said opinionatedly. "In fact, maybe I'll just switch over to the Guys' Alliance. They seem to like me over there."

"No! Please don't do that. I'm in a tough enough spot as it is," Kiki gasped.

Lauren smirked deviously. "Alright. I might stick with you girls. On one condition of course."

"And what might that be?" Kiki asked.

Lauren whispered in Kiki's ear. Kiki's eyes went wide.

"You're not serious!" Kiki groaned.

"Well, you don't _have_ to let me into the alliance," Lauren told her.

"Screw you," Kiki grumbled.

"Nah, I don't think we're that far enough in our relationship yet," Lauren chuckled.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Kiki:** Yeah, five guesses as to what Lauren's contingency was. I'll give you a hint: I'm basically whoring myself out for her vote. Ugh. I knew this game would be hard, but Lauren's just making it ridiculous.

**Lauren:** What? I said I was looking to make out with a girl. If I have to give my loyalty to Kiki in order to do so, then so be it.

**Jilly:** I just can't believe that my girl Lauren would go and betray us like that. And for what? Cuz Spankety's a clown?! That's just not cool.

* * *

"Why do I get the feeling we'll be seeing this place a lot?" Ziggy asked nobody in particular as Team Thunder made their way to the basement to get some sleep.

"Probably because you're stupid, because ain't no way are we comin' back here tomorrow," Chappy insisted.

"Hey, that was totally not cool!" Susan defended. "Ziggy said nothing mean to you."

"No, but he _is_ part of the reason we lost the last challenge," Chappy told her.

"So were you," Franklin said simply.

"Excuse me?!" Chappy shot back.

"Guys, guys," Judy tried to mediate. "We all played a part in the outcome of the challenge."

"So you mean to tell me that our entire team just sucks?!" Chappy growled.

"No, I mean to tell you that there's no one person to blame for us not getting first place," Judy said, trying to be calm. "You can't blame Ziggy solely for losing the challenge."

"I don't. I blame all of you," Chappy said as he folded his arms. "He just happens to be the one who spoke."

"So… what about… us…?" Bailey asked.

"Yes, the rest of us are speaking now. Will you be getting angry with us?" Preston asked.

"Ah, shut up. I'm going to bed!" Chappy yelled as he flopped onto one of the beds.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Judy:** I try to be patient with Chappy, but it isn't easy. If he's not careful, he could be the one to go if we lose.

**Preston:** I'm trying to keep my alliance with Chappy a secret. The others don't know about it, which is good, but Chappy is putting a target on his back, which isn't good. Looks I'll have to move that target.

**Ziggy: **Chappy's kinda crazy, isn't he?

* * *

Team Flame were currently enjoying their dinner in the dining room. Yolonda had prepared them grilled chicken and steamed vegetables.

"Mmm. My compliments to the chef," Barry smiled.

"Yeah, this is actually really good. I'm impressed," Nolan agreed.

"Of course, after white bread and tap water, anything's going to taste good to us," CJ remarked.

"So, CJ, how does it feel to have your dreams crushed?" Erica asked.

"Excuse me?" CJ asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You weren't the first one voted off like you wanted. It's gotta suck to be let down like that," Erica told her.

"Yeah, and we have Mac to thank for that," CJ said. "Thanks to him winning the challenge for us."

"Yeah, Mac. That was really brave of you," Rachel said with a wink. "Who knew we had such big, strong men on our team?"

"Aw, it was nothing," Mac grinned. "Dishing out pain is just what I do. That challenge was made for me."

"Either way, I'm sure our team will make it far," Barry said optimistically. "And it'll be worth it to spend so much time with friends."

"I'll be here too, but that can't be helped," Erica added.

"To Team Flame!" Nolan said as he raised his drink in the air.

"Team Flame!" Barry, Mac, and Rachel copied Nolan as they clinked their drinks together.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Nolan:** So far raising team synergy is working out well. It seems like, with the exception of Erica, we all trust each other. Hopefully the dice will permit me to vote for Erica soon, because she isn't really adding anything to the team.

**Barry:** I can't help but wonder why Erica's so negative all the time. Maybe I should talk with her and see if I can get her to open up. Maybe then she'll be less… how do I put this… rude?

**Erica:** It figures that everyone's started to ignore me. What else should I expect? I'm a freak of nature!

* * *

Kiki and Lauren stepped out of a closet, both with a noticeable blush on their face.

"For the record, you're a great kisser," Lauren smirked.

"Please don't tell me that," Kiki groaned. "It's bad enough that I lost a good portion of my dignity in the span of seven minutes."

"True, but think of it this way," Lauren said. "Now you have my vote on your side. The next vote should be a tie, and, if we're lucky, we win the tiebreaker, giving us the upper hand."

"Yeah, but still…" Kiki sighed. "Why did it have to work out like this?"

"It's either that or you end up in the minority with Jilly," Lauren shrugged. "Of course, I could also get her on my side since we're good friends."

"Not anymore from what I heard," Kiki said. "She's pretty mad at you for voting out Spankety."

"Trust me, it'll all work out eventually," Lauren said nonchalantly. "I'm not sure how, but it will."

"Ladies. How goes it?" Tucker approached the two. He then noticed the open closet door. "Ohohoho. Is this what Tucker thinks this is? Maybe you could let Tucker watch next time. Heheheh."

"There won't be a next time, Tucker," Lauren said, noticing Kiki shrinking thanks to Tucker's presence. "This was just a one-time thing."

"Aw, surely you have room in your hearts to give Tucker what he wants," Tucker said. "Tucker _does_ have a policy against pranking hot girls, but he _is_ willing to make exceptions."

"Is that a threat?" Lauren asked sharply.

"No, no. Tucker's just threatening to… okay, maybe it is a threat." Tucker said. "How's about this? If you, Lauren, make out with Tucker, he'll forget this ever happened and you're free to go. If not, well, you can expect a lot of pratfalls and booby traps in the near future. Heheheh. _Booby_ traps."

"I'm _not_ giving in to your demands!" Lauren shot back.

"Okay then. Your loss," Tucker shrugged as he walked away.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Lauren:** Okay, where does Tucker get off taking advantage of us like that? Okay, yeah, I realize I _just_ took advantage of Kiki, but that was for strategic purposes. Tucker's just a pervert.

**Tucker:** They'll give in to Tucker's conditions eventually. They always do. Heheheh.

**Kiki**: I hate both of them. Sadly, one of them is my only shot at surviving in this game. Ugh, why couldn't Tucker just leave last time? Once my alliance hits the final three, Lauren's gone! That's what she gets for letting Tucker stay.

* * *

Bailey approached Preston with a piece of paper in her hands.

"Ah, Bailey, is it?" Preston asked. "How may I help you?"

Bailey cleared her throat and began reading from the paper in her hands. "Hello, Preston. If memory serves, at the beginning of the competition you mentioned that you have great skill in reading people and that, should we require this talent, all we needed to do was ask. Is this correct?"

"Yes it is," Preston said. "Truth be told, you're actually the first person to bring it up since then."

Bailey continued to read. "Well, there is a problem with my friend Susan. She seems rather off-put by our teammate Judy. Susan cannot figure out whether or not Judy is truly a good person as she seems, or if the kindness she shows is actually a façade. Susan wonders due to the fact that Judy often takes Chappy's side in an argument. What is your take on the situation?"

"Judy is a perfectly nice girl," Preston confirmed. "In fact, the reason she takes Chappy's side is _because_ she's so nice. It's weird, but so are most people. We all have some quirk that differentiates us from the others. Judy's just happens to be her playing devil's advocate every once in a while. So, yeah, she's not a bad person at all."

"Thank you… Preston," Bailey thanked as she took her leave.

"Very strange," Preston muttered to himself.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Bailey:** _(she is reading from a paper) _It seems that Susan's worries are all for naught. How fortunate. Although, truth be told, I regret not asking Preston why this worried Susan so much in the first place. Perhaps later.

**Preston:** If Susan doubts that Judy of all people is truly nice, then it might not be long before she figures out my alliance with Chappy, and I don't want that at all. So I have two options, now: convince her that someone else on the team is playing her in order to distract her, or just vote her out. The former option would be easier, but the latter would be more efficient. I'll go over my options again once my team loses.

* * *

Barry approached the door to Erica's first class room and gave it a knock.

"What do you want?" Erica's voice was heard from the other side.

"It's Barry. I just want to talk is all," Barry said.

A few seconds later, Erica opened the door.

"I repeat, what do you want?" Erica asked.

"I just wanted to talk. You know, get to know you better," Barry said.

"Why?" Erica asked.

"Well, to be truthful, you seem like the most asocial person on our team, and I wanted to see if you wanted a friend," Barry explained.

"You don't want to be my friend," Erica sneered.

"Why not?" Barry asked.

"Because I'm a freak! You're just condescending to me because you think it'll make you look like a good person and everyone will love you!" Erica snapped.

"Would you at least care to tell me why you assume the worst in everyone?" Barry asked, trying not to get angry.

"Because everyone is the worst," Erica said simply as she shut the door.

"Okay. Good talk, I guess," Barry said as he walked away from her door.

As Barry left, Erica opened the door a crack and watched him walk away.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Barry: **I approached Erica hoping to help her realize that not everyone hates her for her being an albino, but I don't think she wants to listen. I want to help her, but I don't want to tick her off either. What should I do?

**Erica:** _(she is blushing) _Barry needs to leave me alone.

* * *

David was sitting in a chair outside in the backyard, messing around with his guitar.

"Let's see, if I put the capo here, I can… no, but… ugh, I'm not feeling it today," David said to himself.

"What up?" Jilly asked as she walked outside and took a seat next to David.

"I'm trying to figure out some new guitar riffs," David explained.

"Do people still play instruments?" Jilly asked. "I could have sworn they just did it all on computers nowadays."

"Only if it's dubstep or electronic or something," David explained. "I'm more of a metal guy, if you couldn't tell, and metal is the most primal of music genres. You can't recreate it on a computer."

"How do you know?" Jilly challenged.

"Have you listened to Metallica or The Devil Wears Prada before? Those riffs are so inhuman that only a human could pull them off," David explained.

"Okay, now my brain hurts," Jilly said as she held her head. "Your girl doesn't understand metal. You can't dance to it."

"You're not supposed to," David told her. "Metal is all about letting your emotions out. If you're having a bad day, all you have to do is listen to some hardcore rock and all of a sudden your brain switches into high gear. It's crazy, man."

"Isn't that basically what EDM is?" Jilly asked.

"That depends. Do you need drugs to enjoy metal?" David asked.

"Hey now. What's that supposed to mean?" Jilly frowned.

"I mean, at raves and stuff you guys always get high, don't you?" David asked innocently. "I figured that was all part of the experience."

"We don't get high all the time. Besides, isn't cocaine, like, the drug of metal?" Jilly responded.

"Uh… David trailed off.

There was an awkward pause.

"Why don't we just agree to disagree?" Jilly asked.

"Sounds good to me," David shrugged.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Jilly:** That was like the most pointless conversation ever.

**David:** Jilly's alright, but she just doesn't get the spirit of metal, and it doesn't seem like she wants to learn, either. Oh well. We were going to vote her off eventually anyway, what with the different alliances and all, so it doesn't bother me too much.

* * *

Susan and Franklin were currently playing cards on the balcony.

"It sure was nice of Nolan to let us borrow his cards," Susan smiled enthusiastically.

"I agree," Franklin replied. "I wasn't sure at first how nice of a guy Nolan is, since his dice challenge has him change moods so often, but he seems polite at the very least."

"Yeah!" Susan agreed. "Soooo, what's home life like for you? Since we're good friends now, I feel like we should get to know each other better."

Franklin looked uneasy for a moment. "My home life is currently fine. The place where I'm currently living provides for me and treats me well. I'm glad to be living there."

"What's with the 'currentlys'?" Susan asked. "Where did you live before?"

"…What about your home life, Susan? What's that like?" Franklin asked.

"Oh, well I live with my mom and dad and little sister," Susan said. "We also had a foreign exchange student this last year, but she moved back to Germany after the school year ended. I don't have a boyfriend to speak of, but hopefully that'll change soon."

"Well, you're a sweet girl," Franklin smiled. "Who knows? Maybe you'll find someone in this very game."

"Yup. I suuure hope so," Susan said as she batted her eyelashes.

"…Anyway, I have two pairs," Franklin said as he laid down his cards.

"Oh! Uh, three of a kind!" Susan said as she revealed her cards.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Franklin:** Susan's a good friend, but I don't think I'm ready to share what my home life is like to her. It's not the kind of thing she needs to know, is all.

**Susan:** Gah! Franklin is just too cute! What can I do to get him to notice me? I've tried having him talk about himself, because I heard guys love to talk about themselves, but then he asked me about myself! Is he trying to do to me what I'm trying to do to him, or is he just being friendly? Why does this have to be so hard?!

* * *

Mac was currently playing on an arcade cabinet in the video game room, when he was approached by Rachel.

"Hey, Macky Mac," Rachel greeted flirtatiously. "Whatcha doing?"

"Playing Mortal Kombat 2!" Mac told her. "This game is amazing! Look at all the pain you get to deal! Heeheehahaha!"

"How _fascinating_," Rachel said fakely. "You know, Mac, I think your obsession with pain is downright _adorable_."

"Thanks," Mac said as he continued to focus on his game.

"Mac, do you think of me as a friend?" Rachel asked.

"Well, I don't know you all that well, but we're teammates, so that's cool," Mac said.

"What would you say to being more than friends?" Rachel asked with a smile.

"Er, if you're asking me out, the answer would have to be 'no'," Mac told her.

"What?" Rachel asked, almost shocked.

"Yeah, sorry, but I kinda already have my eye on someone," Mac apologized. "But hey, you're a cute girl. If you're looking for a boyfriend, I'm sure someone out there would be happy to be yours. I'm just not that person. No offense."

"None taken," Rachel said as she left the room.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Rachel:** Darn it, looks like Mac is a no-go for my plan. Thankfully, I still have Barry and Nolan, and besides, the game's just started. I have plenty of time to put my plan into action.

**Mac:** I did feel kinda bad for having to turn Rachel down, but to be honest, I don't know her _that _well, so I don't feel really guilty or anything.

* * *

The nineteen houseguests were now gathered in the foyer.

"Alright, kids, listen up!" Hatchet shouted. "It's time for your next challenge."

"Do we get to go back to that pain playground again?" Mac asked enthusiastically.

"No. Now DON"T INTERRUPT!" Hatchet barked.

"Touchy," CJ remarked.

"Anyway, this next challenge is one y'all might be familiar with from our very first season," Hatchet told them.

"Is it the Brunch of Disgustingness?" Judy guessed.

"How about the fear challenge?" Nolan guessed.

"Is it the cliff dive?" David asked. Everyone glanced at him strangely. "What?"

"I TOLD Y'ALL NOT TO INTERRUPT!" Hatchet roared. "Anyway… If y'all bothered to listen, y'all would know that this challenge is the Awake-a-thon." This revelation was met with a collection of groans.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Barry:** The Awake-a-thon is a contest to see who can stay awake the longest. It looked pretty brutal on Total Drama Island, and even though there's no 20k run or turkey-eating contest this time, this won't be easy, let me tell you.

**Chappy:** An Awake-a-thon? Please. I've pulled consecutive all-nighters playing Xbox in the basement. This is my challenge. If we don't get first place, somebody's going to be hurt.

**Ernie:** A challenge that involves _not_ sleeping? Heh. No thank you.

* * *

As we cut back to the foyer, Ernie is already asleep.

"Well then. Looks like Team Chill is already at a disadvantage with five folks left," Hatchet commented. "Team Flame is sittin' pretty with six, and Team Thunder is currently in the lead with all seven."

"We got this, guys!" Jilly told her team as she put some headphones on. "Just let the music keep you up."

"I can agree to that," David said as he followed suit.

"You think we'll be able to win this one?" Kiki whispered to Lauren.

"With that motherTucker out there? There's no way I'm getting any sleep," Lauren responded. "I had to sleep with one eye open last night just in case he tried to do anything."

"Great, now you've got me paranoid," Kiki told her. "Rather, you've got me more paranoid. It's bad enough that you're the only one I can talk to right now, especially after what happened in the closet earlier."

"Ouch," Lauren said in mock offense. "And here I thought you really liked me."

Kiki rolled her eyes.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Kiki:** Lauren's never going to let me forget what we did in that closet, is she?

**Lauren: **_(she's grinning)_ I'm totally never going to let her forget what we did in that closet.

* * *

It is now the six hour mark, and everyone other than Ernie is still awake. With Team Thunder, Susan was glaring at Judy from afar. Franklin and Bailey approached her.

"Hey Susan…" Bailey greeted.

"Oh, hey!" Susan greeted back.

"Still angry at Judy?" Franklin asked.

"I can't help it," Susan told them. "She seems so fake. I don't like her one bit."

"Fake? What's fake about her?" Franklin asked.

"She totally pretends to be all nice, but she's friends with Chappy! _Chappy!_" Susan explained.

"What do you want?!" Chappy shouted back.

"Nothing," Franklin assured him. He turned back to Susan and Bailey. "Bailey, didn't you have something to tell Susan?"

"Y-yeah," Bailey said as she took a paper from her pocket and read from it. "After hearing of your mistrust towards Judy, I decided to ask Preston about it, knowing Preston's skill in deciphering people, so to speak. He told me that Judy is friends with Chappy not because she's really mean, rather because of how nice she really is."

"But… then… why isn't she friends with us?" Susan asked.

"Well, think about it. She's friends with Chappy," Franklin chuckled. "She's got enough on her plate as it is."

"Yeah… but…" Susan sighed. "I need to use the bathroom." Susan stormed off to somewhere that wasn't the bathroom.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Franklin:** I don't know why Susan has it out for Judy, but the sooner we solve the conflict, the better.

* * *

At the twelve-hour mark, Ziggy and CJ had already fallen asleep. Rachel took this opportunity to talk to Nolan.

"Heeeeey, Nolan," Rachel greeted.

"Rachel," Nolan nodded in recognition. "How's the challenge treating you?"

"It's fine. But I reaaaaaally want someone to talk to right now," Rachel said as she batted her eyelashes.

Nolan rolled his die. "Well, looks like I'm available. What did you want to talk about?"

"Ummmm… how about you and CJ?" Rachel suggested. "Are you guys, like, a thing?"

"A thing?" Nolan asked.

"You know. Are you guys, like, more than friends?" Rachel asked.

"If I'm going to be honest, and I have to thanks to the die, CJ and I aren't even really friends," Nolan explained. "She's an ally, but she can get kind of grating at times, you know? She follows me around everywhere."

"I see…" Rachel said as the gears in her mind began turning. "Well, luckily she'll be the first one out of our team, huh?"

"See, that's the problem," Nolan told her. "I don't want her to leave because she's currently my only ally."

"I could be your ally," Rachel suggested as she got very close to Nolan. "And I won't even follow you around. Unless you want me to." Rachel giggled.

Nolan rolled his die once again. "Yeah, sorry, no can do. Thanks for the offer, though."

"No problem," Rachel said as she left Nolan alone.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Rachel:** Well, that's two guys I can't work with. That just leaves Barry, and he's an outspoken Christian, so he probably won't give into my charms because Christians love avoiding anything sexual. Still, it's my only hope at this point, so I might as well give it a shot.

**Nolan:** As much as I would have liked to work with Rachel, sadly, the dice challenge prevents me from doing so. I'm not worried, though. I have a loyal ally in CJ, and the two of us make up a third of the team, which isn't bad at all.

* * *

By the eighteen-hour mark, Mac had fallen asleep.

Tucker yawned loudly. "Can Tucker go get something from his bag in the backyard?" he asked Hatchet.

"Ah, whatever," Hatchet shrugged.

"Er, can I go follow him?" David asked.

"I don't care," Hatchet said. "But if I catch y'all makin' out back there, y'all gonna be in for it!"

"What? EW!" David shouted before he ran to the backyard after Tucker.

Lauren yawned. "Well, with Tucker gone, maybe I can get some shut-eye," she said.

"What about the challenge?" Kiki asked.

"What about it? Jilly seems to have it under control," Lauren pointed out as she nodded off.

Meanwhile, David had followed Tucker to the backyard. He noticed that Tucker was rummaging through someone else's bag.

"Tucker, what are you doing now?" David asked.

"What does it look like?" Tucker asked as he took a pair of lacy pink panties from the bag and showed it to David.

"Give me those!" David shouted as he grabbed the pair of panties from Tucker. "Where do you get off stealing your teammates' underwear?"

"In the bathroom, mostly. Heheheheh," Tucker chuckled.

"Aw, gross!" David facepalmed.

"Oh, and by the way, Tucker wasn't lying when he said he was getting something from his bag," Tucker said as he took a camera out of his picket and snapped a picture of David holding the panties.

"Oh COME ON!" David shouted.

"You see what Tucker meant when he said he could turn it against you?" Tucker smirked. "Now, hand over Lauren's panties, and Tucker will forget this ever happened."

"No you won't," David frowned.

"Eh, true, but do you want to risk this circulating around the house?" Tucker asked as he reminded David of the camera.

David gave Tucker the panties back. "You're the worst."

"And yet I'm better than you, so what does that make you?" Tucker asked smugly as he returned to the house.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**David:** I f***ing hate that guy! Why does he have to be in our alliance?!

**Tucker:** Best. Summer. Ever. Heheheheh.

* * *

The challenge had now hit the twenty-four hour mark. Susan, Bailey, Nolan, and Tucker had all fallen asleep by now. Preston sat next to Judy and Chappy as he looked over the rest of his team.

"Well, we're still in the lead now, which is good," Preston pointed out. "Maybe we will take first place this time."

"We'd better," Chappy grunted.

"I think we can do it," Judy smiled. "We have a strong alliance, plus Franklin."

"Uhh…" Preston gestured to Franklin, who had now fallen asleep.

"Great. If we lose because of him…" Chappy growled.

"If we lose, it will be everyone's fault," Judy told him. "We only lose if everyone drops out, remember?"

"I don't care. Losing is losing," Chappy said. "And if we get last place…" Chappy clenched his fists.

"But we won't get last place," Judy assured him.

"You're right. I wouldn't allow it," Chappy scoffed.

"Realistically speaking, we probably will get last place at some point," Preston said. "I know our limits, and there's no way we can avoid elimination every time."

"What are you saying?" Chappy raised a fist to Preston.

"I'm saying we should decide who the weakest link on our team is so we can vote them out if need be," Preston said.

"Hey now. These are our friends we're talking about," Judy frowned.

"True, but it's better to get this out of the way now than right before we have to vote someone out," Preston said.

"Aren't you thinking a bit far ahead?" Judy asked.

"Who can say?" Preston shrugged. "For all we know, we could get last place in this very challenge."

"If you just jinxed it, I'm gonna hurt you," Chappy threatened.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Preston:** Oh, Chappy. Poor guy has no idea how much he needs me in this game. Of course, I need him too, so I'll have to make sure we don't want to kill each other. That wouldn't be good.

**Judy:** I know the point of an alliance is to protect each other, but I don't want to have to vote someone out. I wouldn't want to be the person who has to leave the game, and I wouldn't wish that fate on anyone else either.

* * *

At the thirty-hour mark, Kiki, Rachel, and Judy were all asleep.

"It's been a long time since this challenge started, huh?" Hatchet asked. "Since the six of y'all managed to make it this far without goin' to sleep, y'all get a reward."

"Cool. What do we get?" Barry asked.

Yolonda entered the room with a plate of sandwiches.

"Aw, sick!" Jilly cheered.

Yolonda handed David a sandwich. "I put a little something special in yours, darling," she said with a wink.

"Cool!" David said as he took a big bite of the sandwich. He then began coughing.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**David: **_(he is holding up a wet and crumpled piece of paper) _Turns out that 'something special' was a note. The writing's barely legible anymore, so I don't know what it says.

**Yolonda:** I hope David liked my note. I spent all night thinking of what to write in it.

* * *

At the thirty-six hour mark, Preston had fallen asleep. Meanwhile, Barry and Erica were the only two left for their team.

"How are you not asleep yet?" Erica asked.

"I could ask the same thing," Barry chuckled.

"I'm nocturnal by nature," Erica told him. "I sleep a few hours during the day and stay up all night. At least at home. Ah, why am I telling you anyway?"

"Because it's interesting," Barry smiled. "Was it a hard transition to go from that to the diurnal lifestyle of the game?"

"Not really. I just had to change which hours I slept. Though I am *yawns* admittedly getting a bit sleepy. I bet you'd like it if I fell asleep. You wouldn't be stuck talking to me."

"I don't mind talking to you," Barry said. "I like to think we could be good friends in this game."

Erica blinked. "Yeah, well, I'm still getting tired, so I'm going to sleep."

"Alright. I'll try not to get us last place," Barry smiled.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Erica:** I know Barry's just taking pity on me, but whatever. I don't want to kill him, so he should feel honored.

**Barry:** I think I'm really getting Erica to open up.

* * *

It was the forty-two hour mark, and the four remaining contestants looked about ready to drop.

"I'm surprised," Hatchet remarked. "I never thought y'all would do this well."

"It's all the music, man," Jilly said airily as she pointed to her headphones.

"Yeah, well, y'all… better… give up…!" Chappy looked on the verge of collapse. "Cuz… Team Thunder… is gonna… win!"

Barry walked up to Chappy and put his hand on Chappy's shoulder. Just like that, Chappy fell down and went to sleep.

"And Team Thunder takes last place and will be facing elimination tonight!" Hatchet announced.

"He's not going to like that," Barry yawned.

"Hey, B," Jilly addressed Barry.

"Yeah?" Barry asked.

"I don't suppose you want to forfeit for us?" she asked. "I mean, you're already safe from elimination, and we had to sleep in the backyard last time, so the first-place rooms would be nice."

"Alright, fair point," Barry told her as he went to sleep.

"Team Flame takes second and Team Chill takes first!" Hatchet announced.

"Nice idea, dude," David said to Jilly.

"Thanks," Jilly grinned.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Chappy:** I can't believe we lost! This cannot stand! We have to vote off our weakest link!

**Susan:** Aw, we lost? That sucks. Looks like we're all at risk of elimination. I hope Chappy leaves.

**Franklin: **Well, looks like Chappy was right. We aren't going back to the basement tonight.

**Preston:** So, Franklin, you think you can throw a challenge and get away with it? Yeah, you heard me. It doesn't matter. I'll show him a thing or two.

* * *

Preston, Judy, and Chappy met up in the rec room to talk strategy.

"Alright, now that we LOST, it's time to cut the expendables from our team," Chappy said.

"I guess…" Judy sighed.

"Who did you have in mind?" Preston asked.

"Ziggy," Chappy said. "He's always the first out of the challenges on our team. He's pathetic."

"Maybe he's better at mental challenges," Judy suggested.

"No, I agree with Chappy," Preston said. "Think about it. What do we really know about Ziggy? He really just tends to keep to himself. For all we know, he could be the big villain, plotting our demise."

"I hadn't thought about that," Judy admitted.

"I agree with Preston," Chappy said. "Ziggy it is."

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Preston:** I obviously know Ziggy isn't the secret big villain, because that's my role. However, Ziggy could end up being an important swing vote that could potentially screw me over, so I have no problem losing him. Besides, it'd feed Chappy's ego, which is also great for me.

**Chappy:** With Ziggy gone, our likelihood to win challenges should increase exponentially. Serves him right for being WEAK!

* * *

Franklin, Bailey, and Susan sat at the table on the balcony.

"So, I guess it's our turn to sleep outside, huh?" Franklin asked rhetorically.

"Yeah…" Bailey said somewhat sadly.

"So, what would you two think of voting for Judy?" Franklin asked.

"Oh, yes!" Susan smiled. "That'd be great!"

"Um…" Bailey trailed off.

"Something wrong, Bailey?" Franklin asked.

"Um… well… you see… well… Judy's… um… really strong… and… you know… we could… use her in… challenges…" Bailey explained.

"Yeah, but she's totally sketchy," Susan said. "I don't like her."

"Yeah… but…" Bailey sighed. "Fine…"

"So we're in agreement. Judy goes?" Franklin confirmed.

"Yup!" Susan clapped. "You're so smart, Franklin."

Bailey simply nodded.

"Cool. I'm going to go see if I can get Ziggy to vote with us. That'd be the majority," Franklin said as he got up and left.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Bailey:** _(she is reading from a paper) _I didn't want to vote out Judy, as I felt like she could be an indispensable asset to our team, however, Franklin and Susan seemed deadset on getting her out, and I knew my opinion wouldn't matter much against the opinions of two others, so I decided to go with it. Hopefully we won't regret our decision.

**Susan:** Yay, Judy's gonna go!

* * *

As Franklin searched the house for Ziggy, he ran into Preston.

"Ah, Franklin, just the man I wanted to see," Preston greeted.

"Really?" Franklin asked. "What's up?"

"I know you threw that challenge," Preston told him. "And I know why as well. I could tell the others, but I won't, so long as you do me a little favor."

"…I'm listening," Franklin said.

"It's nothing much. All I'm asking is that you vote for Ziggy tonight," Preston said. "That's not too hard, is it?"

"Why do you want to vote out Ziggy?" Franklin asked.

"Let's just say he's not what he seems," Preston said. "Look, it's either you vote for Ziggy, or I tell the others about how you got those scars.

"I'll think about it," Franklin said.

"Good talk, my man," Preston smirked. "I'll see you at elimination."

"Likewise," Franklin said.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Preston:** According to his body language, Franklin threw the challenge so he could vote off Judy. Odd, but it makes no difference to me. Franklin will definitely be voting for Ziggy tonight.

**Franklin:** Alright, I found Ziggy and told him to vote Judy, and he seemed to be on board with that. Now I just need to decide if I want to vote her out myself. I don't know how she, Preston, or Chappy will be voting, so the votes could be scattered, or it could be a close shave. What to do, what to do?

* * *

The seven members of Team Thunder sat on one of the couches in the foyer. Hatchet came down the grand staircase carrying what looked like an ice box. He set the ice box down next to him as he stood across from the contestants.

"Greetings, Team Thunder, to y'all's first elimination," Hatchet greeted. "Here's how it's gonna work. I have six sodas in this here ice chest for y'all. If you get a soda, then you're safe. If you don't get a soda, it means you've been voted out. Ya got that?!"

"Yes sir!" Franklin saluted almost reflexively.

"A'ight, first soda goes to Susan."

"Preston."

"Bailey."

"Franklin."

"Chappy."

"Huh?" Judy asked as she looked at the others, noticing that only she and Ziggy were left without a soda.

"Ziggy, Judy, one of y'all is goin' home tonight," Hatchet stated. "But the final soda of the night goes to…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"…Judy."

"Aw, thank you." Judy breathed a sigh of relief as she caught the soda Hatchet tossed to her.

"Aw, that's too bad," Ziggy said. "Well, I had fun guys. See you all later."

With that, Ziggy walked out the Door of Shame.

"Welp, you may have cut your weakest member, but will that help your sorry butts to stop losing?" Hatchet asked.

"Excuse me?!" Chappy snapped.

"Y'all're gonna have to find out tomorrow," Hatchet said. "Now, off to the backyard, and have a good night."

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Chappy:** We'd better not lose again now that Ziggy's gone. If we do, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

* * *

"And with that, all our teams are down to six," Hatchet said to the camera. "Will Chappy ever win a challenge? Will Erica ever open up? Will Tucker ever get caught? Y'all're gonna have to find out, next time, on Total. Drama! _**HOUSE PARTY!**_"

* * *

**Votes:**

**Susan:** I'm voting for Judy! And I'm glad Franklin agrees with me!

**Chappy:** Good riddance, Ziggy. You were only holding us back.

**Bailey:** _(she is reading from a paper)_ Though I'd really rather not, it seems that my friends are voting for Judy tonight, and I shall do the same.

**Preston: **Ziggy could have been an annoyance in the future, so we might as well get rid of him now while we can.

**Judy:** Well, I hate to do it, but, sorry Ziggy. My alliance wants you gone.

**Ziggy:** Franklin told me to vote for Judy, so I might as well.

**Franklin:** I have no idea if Preston really knows how I got my scars, but I'm not going to risk it. I vote for Ziggy.

* * *

_A/N: I know a ton of people thought Ziggy was going to win, so I'm sure you're all shocked at this turn of events. Naw, but seriously, Ziggy was total filler, and he was always going to be total filler. I don't think him leaving will change the game too much._


	5. Ep 04: You Can't Handle the Dare

_A/N: Nothing much to say here. Here's another episode for ya._

* * *

"Last time on Total Drama House Party…" Hatchet stood in the foyer for the recap. "Reactions were mixed after Spankety's surprise elimination: Kiki and Jilly didn't seem too happy, but Ernie and Tucker were more than fine with it. Our challenge was an Awake-a-Thon, in which the houseguests competed to see who could stay awake the longest. In the end, Team Chill went from the bottom to the top thanks to Jilly's and David's music, while Team Thunder ended up in last place, and that's where things got crazy. Chappy wanted his team to vote out Ziggy due to his failure in the challenges, while Susan wanted to vote out Judy for… _some _reason. I dunno. In the end, it was Ziggy who took the fall. Two down, eighteen remain. Who will fall next? Find out ya fool! Only on Total! _Drama! __**HOUSE PARTY!**_"

* * *

Team Thunder stepped out to the backyard after the elimination ceremony.

"Alright, listen up!" Chappy called his team to attention. "Now that our weakest link is gone, I expect to be winning every challenge from here on out."

"Then expect to be disappointed," Franklin muttered under his breath.

"What was that?!" Chappy snapped.

"Chappy, it's late. We're all tired from the challenge. I think we should get some sleep," Preston suggested.

Susan yawned very loudly. "I agree. I'm tired!"

"Oh, hey, by the way, not that I'm mad or anything, but why was I in the bottom two last night?" Judy asked.

"Why? Is there someone else you had in mind?" Susan asked with a hint of anger.

"Well, I just didn't think I was anyone's first choice for a vote," Judy frowned. "No offense, but I thought that there was at least one other person worth voting for."

"There was. And now he's gone," Chappy said firmly. "So be glad."

"Hm…" Bailey seemed to be thinking to herself as everything else went on around her.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Bailey:** _(she is reading from a paper)_ It seems that Judy may be catching on to Susan's rivalry with her. Sadly I am unsure as to whether or not her finding out is a good thing. On one hand, if she finds out, the whole thing could be cleared up and it could bring us closer together. On the other hand, it could possibly fan the flames of Susan's disdain and cause quite a stir within the team. Oh, how I hate uncertainty.

**Preston:** Yeah, I would have liked to vote out Susan last night, but it just wasn't the right time. Chappy wanted to lose Ziggy, and I needed to gain Chappy's trust. Whatever. Ziggy was expendable. Perhaps by the next time we have to vote, I'll have gained enough of Chappy's trust to convince him to vote Susan. Hopefully nobody will catch on to me by then.

**Franklin:** So, Ziggy left last night, which all but confirms that Preston, Chappy, and Judy are in an alliance. And thanks to the possibility that Preston knows about my… past… I may unwillingly end up part of that alliance as well. What to do, what to do?

* * *

Team Flame had now made their way to the basement.

"Huh. So this is what it's like down here," Rachel said.

"Uh, we were here before," Nolan pointed out. "During the tour of the house. Duh."

"Oh right. You're soooooo smart," Rachel flirted.

"So, what will the sleeping arrangements be?" Barry asked. "There are four beds, and six of us."

"Didn't what's-his-face say we'd probably end up sharing beds?" CJ asked.

"Well, I'll just take my own bed here, since obviously nobody wants to share a bed with me," Erica grumbled.

"Uh…" Barry started.

"There's no point in arguing with her," Nolan interrupted as he rolled a die. "Alright, it's been decided. I'll share a bed with Mac."

"It's cool, dude," Mac nodded. "By the way, if I start kicking in my sleep, it's nothing personal. Just pain. Heeheehahaha!"

"Looks like it's just you and me, Barry," Rachel swooned as she took Barry by the arm.

"Oh, do I not get a vote?" CJ asked sarcastically. "Don't answer that. I'd be more than happy to sleep alone."

"Uh, well… you see… uh…" Barry rubbed the back of his head.

"What's wrong, Barrykins?" Rachel asked.

"Uh, nothing," Barry decided. "Let's get to sleep."

"Oh, Barry. I thought you'd never ask," Rachel giggled.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Rachel:** Since Nolan and Mac are no longer options for flirting, that just leaves Barry. He might be a bit hard to get to, but I'm sure I can do it. Guys his age have crazy sex drives. All it takes is a little push. Hmhm.

**Barry:** I wanted to avoid sharing a bed with a girl at all costs, so I could avoid potential debauchery, but Rachel didn't really give me a choice, and I didn't want to seem like a prude. I promised myself I wouldn't be preachy, but I also don't want to stray too far from my beliefs. Honestly, if it were anyone but Rachel, I'd be fine, but she's a little… how do I put this? Unrestrained? I need to pray about this.

**Nolan: **_(he is covered in bruises) _Remind me to do a re-roll if I ever have to share a bed with Mac again.

* * *

Team Chill made their way to the first place rooms.

"I still love how, like, my team of all teams ended up winning the 'no sleeping' challenge, ya know?" Ernie pointed out.

"Yeah, no thanks to you," Jilly said. "Your girl and David had to do all the work."

"I didn't realize listening to music counted as work," Ernie quipped.

"Ah, get over it," Lauren said. "We're all tired. Why don't we talk about it in the morning?"

"Yeah, Tucker needs his beauty rest," Tucker agreed.

"I'll say," Jilly joked to Kiki and Lauren, who laughed in response.

"You're next…" Tucker muttered.

"Is that a threat?" Jilly asked.

"Let's just drop it," David said in a suspicious manner.

"What's up with you?" Jilly asked.

"Absolutely nothing. Why would there be something up with me? That's just silly," David said as he never made eye contact with anyone. "Oh look, there's our rooms. Good night." David rushed to his room and shut the door.

"Weirdo," Kiki muttered to Jilly and Lauren.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**David:** I don't want someone to accidentally think I'm the panty thief! That would not be good. I'm seriously considering swapping to Kiki's alliance. Then I wouldn't have to work with Tucker. I swear, Tucker's the only one keeping me from having fun in this game.

**Kiki:** David's certainly suspicious. At first, he was the only guy on our team that I had some problem with booting, since he's probably the strongest physically on our team, but now… I'm not so sure. Hopefully this will clear itself up in the near future. Maybe he can go after I get rid of Tucker and Ernie.

**Tucker:** You know, Tucker's been thinking. That was a close shave last night. Judy almost got eliminated before Tucker could nab her unmentionables. Perhaps Tucker should branch out to stealing panties from the other team. But his first priority is to make sure Lauren gives into Tucker's blackmail. Heheheheh.

* * *

Susan was gleefully skipping through the halls as she hummed to herself.

"Lalalalala~" she sang. "Whoah!" All of a sudden, Susan tripped on a fold in the rug.

"Hey, are you okay?" someone asked as they approached Susan.

"Oh, well, I…" Susan looked up to see it was Judy. "I'm perfectly fine, thank you," Susan said huffily as she got up and brushed herself off.

"Oh. That's cool," Judy smiled. "Hey, by the way. I hate to bring this up again, but it's been kinda bugging me lately, you know? Did you vote for me last night?"

"As a matter of fact I did," Susan said firmly.

"Oh, okay. May I ask why?" Judy asked.

"It was a group decision. Franklin, Bailey, and I all decided," Susan said as she folded her arms.

"Wait, but then…" Judy scratched her head. "Well, thanks for telling me. That helps out a bit."

"Whatever," Susan muttered as she walked away.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Judy:** Something about what Susan said didn't add up. She said that she, Bailey, and Franklin all voted for me last night, and yet Ziggy went home. I don't think Ziggy voted for himself, and if he'd voted for me, I'd be gone. But if Ziggy voted for someone else, it'd be a three on three tie between me and Ziggy. So why did Ziggy leave? If you ask me, I don't think Susan was telling the truth.

**Susan:** Where does Judy get off, asking me why I voted for her? What is she, a detective?

* * *

Nolan and CJ walked up to the bathroom. Nolan turned to CJ.

"This should probably go without saying, but you can't really follow me in here," Nolan told her.

"But what am I going to do while I'm waiting for you?" CJ whined.

"I don't know. What do you normally do when you quit the challenges and wait for us to finish?" Nolan asked.

"Draw in my sketchbook, usually," CJ told him.

"Then do that," Nolan said as he shut the door.

"But I don't have it," CJ whined.

"What's going on?" Mac asked curiously as he approached the scene.

"I'm bored," CJ said.

"You can deck me in the face if that'll help," Mac offered excitedly.

CJ pondered a bit before punching Mac in the cheek.

"Heeheehahaha! Nice!" Mac grinned.

"Well now I'm bored again," CJ said.

"Wanna share life stories?" Mac asked with a grin.

"Whatever," CJ reluctantly agreed.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Nolan:** Alright, to be honest, I escaped out the window. You know in movies how someone will hide in the bathroom and then jump out the window to flee from someone? Yeah, I did that. Of all the allies I could have rolled, why did it have to be the one who has nothing better to do than follow me around everywhere?

**CJ:** Well, Mac and I chatted for a bit. Surprisingly, I didn't want to kill myself. It's the little things that make our team not getting last place and voting me out less painful.

**Mac:** CJ's kinda strange, but you know what? She's alright. I mean, heck, she nearly knocked out one of my teeth. That girl can punch! Heeheehahaha!

* * *

Tucker knocked on the door to Lauren's first place room.

"Come in!" Lauren called. "I can't answer the door; I'm painting my nails!"

Tucker opened the door and marched in with a grin.

"What do you want?" Lauren asked warily as she sat on her bed, painting her toenails.

"Tucker's being generous, you see," Tucker told her.

"Oh, do tell," Lauren scoffed.

"Tucker's giving you one last chance to accept his little proposal," Tucker said. "If you agree to make out with Tucker, then Tucker won't tell everyone that you and Kiki did the nasty. Heheheheh."

"We didn't do that, Tucker. We just made out a little," Lauren insisted. "And besides, just because I'm a bisexual with an overactive libido, that doesn't mean I'm easy."

"You sure?" Tucker asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Pretty sure. I don't care if you tell everyone that I made out with Kiki. So piss off," Lauren said angrily.

"Okay. Just making sure you're okay with it," Tucker said innocently as he pulled a slingshot from his pocket and fired a pellet at the vial of nail polish Lauren was using, causing it to break and spill all over the covers.

"Tucker!" Lauren screeched.

"Heheh. Laters!" Tucker waved goodbye as he left the room.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Tucker:** Perhaps Lauren forgot. Telling the others about Kiki wasn't the only thing she could have prevented by accepting Tucker's demands. Tucker also promised to, shall we say, overlook his policy on pranking hot girls when it comes to her and Kiki. Oh, this should be fun. Heheheheh.

**Lauren:** _(she is seething in anger)_ That. Was. A limited. *Bleep*ing. Edition. Container. Of nail polish. That. Mother*bleep*er. Is going. Down.

* * *

Bailey approached Franklin with a number of papers in her hand. She cleared her throat as she began to read from one of them.

"Good day, Franklin," Bailey greeted. "As you can see, I have spent all night composing responses to a number of topics, should you wish to discuss them."

"Oh, really?" Franklin asked, impressed. "I was wondering what you were writing in the backyard last night."

"Yes. I predicted that I would find myself unable to sleep due to the living conditions; I must confess I am rather spoiled in that department," Bailey read.

"You know, you don't have to read to me all the time," Franklin said. "We're friends, right?"

"Um, yes, well, you know…" Bailey stuttered. "You see, I, uh, can't really, you know, I'm not that great of a speaker, is what I'm trying to say. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize," Franklin told her. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh, um…" Bailey flipped through her papers for a topic. "I too am rather concerned about Susan's disdain towards Judy. I'm afraid that it could lead to continued loss in our team, and, with Chappy still on our team, that wouldn't exactly be pleasant."

"I agree," Franklin nodded. "The problem is, the best way to solve this is to vote out one of them, and that leaves us with a dilemma.

"Indeed," Bailey continued to read. "Should we choose to vote out Susan, not only would we lose an ally in this game, but a friend as well. Should we choose to vote out Judy, we would lose a valuable asset in challenges, which would be bad for our chances in this game as well as morale, should Chappy still be around."

"You know, you don't have to talk so formally," Franklin smiled. "It sounds weird talking to someone so… what's the word?"

"Articulate?" Bailey guessed.

"Sure," Franklin said. "Point is, unless we can solve their differences, we may have to vote out Judy or Susan next time we lose, and I don't want to do that."

"Agreed," Bailey nodded.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Franklin:** I do enjoy talking strategy with Bailey, I just wish she wasn't so awkward when it comes to speaking. It seems like she's either a stuttering mess or a stuffy librarian. Maybe I could teach her how to open up.

**Bailey:** _(she is reading from a paper)_ While I would wish to take the more peaceful option and try to mediate the conflict between Susan and Judy, I fear that I would be unable to do this on my own. With my rather methodical medium of communication, it wouldn't be easy to sort out the whole thing. Perhaps Franklin can assist me.

* * *

As Barry went for the stairs to exit the basement, Rachel walked down them.

"Oh, hello, Rachel," Barry greeted with a smile.

"Oh, Barry! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Rachel gave Barry a big hug.

"R-really?" Barry asked. "What's up?"

"It's just that…" Rachel sniveled as she started to cry. "I tried, you know, flirting with Nolan and Mac, and they both turned me down."

"I'm sorry," Barry said empathetically.

"I know I'm kind of over-the-top about it, but…" Rachel sniveled. "I only act that way because all the attention makes me feel pretty. But now, with them, ignoring me, I just…" Rachel began bawling into Barry's shoulder. "I feel so unpretty!"

"Oh, sweetie," Barry reassuringly patted Rachel on the back. "Don't you worry. You're beautiful. Between you and me, you're one of the most stunning girls in this house."

Rachel sniveled again. "You really think so?"

"I know so," Barry smiled.

Rachel let go of Barry and wiped her eyes. "Thanks, Barry. You're the sweetest. I really mean it." Rachel gave Barry a peck on the cheek as she walked back upstairs.

"Don't mention it," Barry said as he began to blush.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Barry:** You know, I guess I never noticed before, but after telling Rachel how beautiful she is, I started to believe it myself. She really is gorgeous. Maybe it's because I'm not a girl, but I don't think she has any reason to feel unpretty. She seems pretty wholesome besides the whole flirting thing, but she just told me that isn't who she really is, so who knows, really? Maybe the two of us have something special.

**Rachel:** Hook, line, and sinker.

* * *

David, Ernie, and Jilly were currently eating breakfast – Kiki, Lauren, and Tucker had already finished and left the room.

"I'm just saying, Grey DeLisle is at least witty and clever on top of hot," Ernie said to David. "Tara Strong's just a slut."

"Tara Strong is not a slut!" David defended. "I mean, I guess she panders to her fans, but that just means she cares about us."

"Y'all two are ridiculous," Jilly said, probably rolling her eyes behind her shades.

"Says the girl ripping off her fashion choices from the X-Men," Ernie responded.

"You wanna go?" Judie offered as she cracked her knuckles.

"Nah thanks, I'm good," Ernie replied.

Just then, David began coughing hard. It appeared he was choking on something.

"Aw, dang!" Jilly exclaimed. "Dude, do the Heimlich on him or something!"

"Why do I have to do it?" Ernie asked.

"Do you want him to die?!" Jilly asked.

All of a sudden, Yolonda ran up to David and began performing the Heimlich maneuver on him.

"Come on, come on, come on…!" Yolonda struggled. "Almost there, almost there!" All of a sudden, a white, crumpled piece of paper launched out of David's mouth and onto Ernie's face, landing in Ernie's cereal.

"…I'm not hungry anymore," Ernie said as he got up and left.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**David:** I mean, I thought Yolonda liked me, but she keeps putting pieces of paper in my food. That's not cool, dude.

**Jilly:** Ernie's whack, ya know that? His own friend is all dyin' and shizz, and he won't even help. I don't like him one bit. I haven't forgotten about him tricking Lauren to vote out Spankety either.

**Ernie:** Why bother doing something when someone else can do it for me? That's my philosophy. Unless it involves strategizing to vote other people out – that's surprisingly fun.

* * *

Hatchet had gathered the eighteen contestants to the foyer for another challenge.

"Alright, maggots. Now, I'm all for making challenges difficult, but Chris came up with a whole lotta challenges for future seasons before he got, er, well he's not here right now!" Hatchet informed the houseguests. "Anyway. Point bein', I ain't exactly full o' challenge ideas, so if any of these challenge reek of Chris, that's why."

"So what's today's challenge?" Chappy asked eagerly.

"…Truth or Dare," Hatchet said hesitantly.

"Aw, that's gay!" Chappy objected.

"Hey now," Lauren said in a half-warning, half-threatening tone.

"Anyway, here's how this challenge is gonna work," Hatchet started. "Each team will take turns forcing someone on another team to complete a dare, or tell a hard truth. One contestant on a team must fulfill the truth or dare in order for it to count. If the contestant who gets dared manages to complete the dare or tell the truth, they'll get a point their team. If they don't pull it off, then the team who dared them gets two points. When one team makes it to ten points, the challenge will be over, and that team will get first place. The team with the second-most amount of points will get second, and, naturally, the team with the least amount of points will have to vote somebody out. You got that? Good! Let's get started!"

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Preston:** Hm, quite the interesting challenge. Naturally, I have no reason to ask for truths, since I know everything, so this will be a fun opportunity to subject the others to a bit of torture.

**Kiki:** Well, this should be fun. Not. I'm hoping nobody asks me for a truth, because I can't speak in front of those… guys.

**Erica:** Great. Just another reason it sucks to be me.

* * *

"Now, Team Thunder, since y'all got last place last time, y'all can go first," Hatchet said. "Pick someone from the opposing teams and ask them to perform a dare or tell a truth."

"Should we do truth or dare?" Susan asked her teammates.

"Dare," Preston said. "Remember, I can read people. There's no truth in this house that I don't already know."

"A'ight, we dare freckle girl to lick the floor!" Chappy blurted.

Everyone's eyes turned to CJ.

"Yeah, eff that noise," CJ scoffed.

"CJ!" Nolan scolded.

"I'm trying to get voted out, remember?" CJ asked disinterestedly.

"That's two points for Team Thunder!" Hatchet announced.

"Alright, Chappy!" Judy gave Chappy a hi-five in celebration.

"We ain't losin' this time," Chappy grinned.

"Team Flame, your turn," Hatchet said.

Nolan covered CJ's mouth before she could say something to throw the challenge. "We dare Chappy to kiss a dude!"

"Excuse me?!" Chappy snapped.

"You want to win, don't you?" Nolan asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Yeah, but I ain't a homo!" Chappy objected.

"Well, you're going to have to make up your mind," Nolan said.

"…I gotta go take a leak," Chappy informed everyone as he left the foyer.

"I'm just gonna count that as refusing the dare. Two points for Team Flame," Hatchet clarified. "Team Chill, it's your turn."

"Tucker dares Rachel to kiss him," Tucker grinned.

"Seriously?" Lauren asked flatly.

"What? Rachel's hot," Tucker said.

"Heehee. Sure," Rachel agreed. She walked up to Tucker and kissed him on the forehead.

"Hey! That doesn't count!" Tucker shouted.

"You dared her to kiss you. You didn't say where," Hatchet shrugged. "Point for Team Flame."

"Nice," Ernie said sarcastically to Tucker.

"Team Thunder?" Hatchet suggested that they come up with a truth or a dare.

"Truth for Barry," Judy spoke up before anyone else could say anything. "How ya doing?"

"I'm doing well, thanks for asking," Barry replied.

"Uh, is that it?" Hatchet asked.

"Yup," Judy replied.

"Okay then. Point for Team Flame," Hatchet shrugged.

"What was that?" Preston asked Judy.

"I didn't want to keep picking on CJ. That'd be unfair," Judy frowned. "Besides, I wanted to know how Barry was doing."

"Team Flame, your turn," Hatchet said.

"We dare Tucker to slam his head against the wall ten times!" Mac said enthusiastically.

"Easy," Tucker grinned as he unzipped his pants.

"TUCKER!" the other members of Team Chill shouted, besides Kiki of course.

"What? He never said which head. Heheheheh," Tucker chuckled.

Kiki grabbed Tucker by the hair and slammed his head against the wall ten times.

"Ow! Hey! No fair! What did Tucker do?! Tucker doesn't deserve this!" Tucker shouted in between slams.

"What the heck, I'll count it," Hatchet said with a pleased smile. "Point for Team Chill."

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Kiki:** _(she's adjusting her glasses with an arrogant look on her face) _I assume my approval rating with the fans just went up.

**Tucker:** Oh, now Kiki's in for it! Just you wait!

**Judy:** Wow. I did not expect that kind of violence out of Kiki. That's seriously not cool.

* * *

"Alright, Team Chill, your turn," Hatchet said.

"I dare CJ to-" Ernie started.

"Pass," CJ said nonchalantly.

"You know, you could at least try," Erica grumbled.

"But that'd defeat the purpose of me trying to go early," CJ told her.

"Whatever. It don't matter to me. Two points for Team Chill," Hatchet said. "Team Thunder?"

"We dare Jilly to chug three cans of pop," Susan said.

"Alright! Now this is my kind of dare!" Jilly whooped as an intern handed her three cans of soda. Jilly opened and chugged them rather quickly.

"Well done. Point for Team Chill," Hatchet grinned.

"Great. Ask the party girl to chug soda. Brilliant idea!" Chappy scolded Susan as he returned from the bathroom.

"Well excuse me for not being perfect," Susan huffed.

"Team Flame?" Hatchet gestured to Team Flame to indicate that it was their turn.

"Truth for Judy. How are you doing?" Barry asked.

"I'm well, thanks for asking," Judy smiled.

"Ugh. Point for Team Thunder," Hatchet said as he rolled his eyes. "Team Chill?"

"We dare Bailey to sing the National Anthem while standing on one leg!" David announced.

"What?" Ernie asked flatly.

"What? It's the first thing I came up with," David shrugged.

"Um, um, um, um…" Bailey mumbled. "I'm sorry. I, um, you know, can't really, you see, uh, sing. Sorry." Bailey squeaked out that last word.

"Pathetic…" Chappy said as he shook his head.

"Whatever. Two points for Team Chill," Hatchet said. "Team Thunder?"

"Truth for Kiki," Franklin said. "I've seen you whisper to your friends, but I've never heard you speak aloud. Why is this?"

Kiki did not respond, she merely clenched her fists in anger as her face began to flush.

"Dude. I can tell you the reason, remember?" Preston reminded Franklin.

"I know. But it earned us an extra two points, didn't it?" Franklin responded.

"That it did," Hatchet confirmed. "Team Flame?"

Nolan rolled his die. "I dare Ernie to do twenty push-ups," he instructed.

"Ugh, must I?" Ernie groaned.

"If you want to win," Lauren reminded him.

Ernie sighed as he got down on the floor to do the push-ups. He slowly made it through one, then two, but halfway through the third one, he collapsed. "Yeah, this isn't, like, happening," Ernie said.

"Two points for Team Flame!" Hatchet announced. "Team Chill, your turn."

"I dare Rachel to run around the house naked," Lauren said with a perverted grin.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want," CJ said to Rachel.

The gears in Rachel's mind started turning. "You… you just think I'm ugly, don't you?" Rachel whipped up some fake tears once again. "I knew it! You do!" Rachel began bawling as she ran out of the room.

"Well then. Two points for Team Chill," Hatchet said. "Darn shame too… Uh! I mean… Team Thunder, your turn!"

"Careful, guys. Team Chill's just two points away from winning," Preston pointed out. "If I may, ahem, I have a truth for Erica. Do you have a crush on anyone in this game?"

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Preston:** Obviously I already knew the answer. I just wanted to stir up some drama among the team. We'll see how it turns out.

**Erica:** Why would I have a crush on anyone here? I hate everyone here! _(she begins blushing)_ It's not like anyone in this house is nice to me all the time or anything.

**Barry:** What an odd question. I wonder why Preston asked that.

* * *

"Of course I don't!" Erica snapped.

"Interesting," Preston smirked.

"Welp, she answered the question. Point for Team Flame," Hatchet said.

"I haven't been keeping track of the scores, but I assume we haven't been losing, because there'd be serious consequences if we did end up losing," Chappy said to his team.

"Team Flame's turn," Hatchet said.

"We dare Judy to go see if Rachel's alright," Barry said with concern in his voice.

"Ooh, good call," Judy said as she ran in the direction Rachel ran off to.

"Okay then. Point for Team Thunder, I guess," Hatchet said.

"Barry, have you ever heard of the phrase 'nice to a fault'?" Nolan asked.

"Nope," Barry replied.

"Team Chill?" Hatchet called to attention.

"Tucker dares CJ to make out with him," Tucker said shrewdly.

"Okay," CJ agreed.

"CJ, please at least try to… wait, what?" Nolan scratched his head in confusion.

"Yeah, if I do it, we'll get a point, which gives us more time to fall into last place," CJ said as she approached Tucker.

"Excellent," Tucker grinned as he and CJ began to make out.

"This is so misogynistic it's not even funny," Erica remarked.

"For once, I agree with you," Nolan added.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Nolan:** Man, it's hard being a sarcastic jerk for the entire challenge. It's not just the challenge, I've been rolling that one quite a few times recently. I think I'm reconsidering the whole 'changing attitudes in each room' part of my twist.

**Susan:** I bet if Judy hadn't gone off to look for Rachel, Tucker would have chosen _her._ _(She sighs)_ I know I've been kinda negative recently. I don't want to be. It's just… Judy makes me so mad!

* * *

"Welp, point for Team Flame!" Hatchet announced after CJ and Tucker had finished making out.

"How was he?" Mac nudged playfully.

"Unsurprisingly, the worst kiss I've ever had," CJ said disinterestedly.

"Team Thunder, your turn!" Hatchet announced.

"I dare David to eat a ghost pepper," Chappy said.

"Do you even have a ghost pepper?" David asked.

"What do you think? Heheheh," Hatchet chuckled as Yolonda entered the foyer with a ghost pepper on a platter.

David looked at the pepper uncertainly. He picked it up by the stem and took a small nibble. He immediately dropped it and began shouting in pain. His face went bright red and he fell to the floor.

"Not a fan of spicy food, I take it?" Ernie asked.

"David, honey. You okay?" Yolonda asked in genuine concern.

David responded with loud coughs.

"I'm going to take him to the nurse's office," Yolonda said as she took him by the wrist and dragged him along the floor.

"Well, this is quite the challenge. I keep losin' you guys. Heheheh," Hatchet chuckled.

"I found Rachel," Judy announced as she and Rachel returned. "She's all better now."

"Good for her," Hatchet said with a roll of his eyes. "Anyway, Team Thunder gets two points, leaving everyone tied at 8. Team Flame, your turn."

"I dare Tucker to allow me to punch him in the gut," Mac beamed.

"Wha?!" Tucker gasped before Mac punched him in the gut.

"Okay, wait. Tucker didn't technically accept the dare, but he did take the punch, so who gets the points?" Barry asked.

"Tucker totally let him. What are you talking about?" Tucker lied as he hunched over in pain.

"I'll take it. Point for Team Chill," Hatchet shrugged. "Team Chill?"

Kiki whispered into Lauren's ear.

"Kiki dares Nolan to pour ice cubes down his pants," Lauren giggled.

Nolan rolled his die. "Fine. Bring it on," Nolan said as Yolonda entered the foyer with a bag of ice. Nolan took the bag and dumped its contents into his pants. "Guh! This is not comfortable!"

"Talk about blue balls," Tucker smirked.

"P-p-point for Team F-f-flame?" Nolan asked Hatchet.

"Yup," Hatchet confirmed. "So now it's Team Thunder's turn."

"Okay, hold up," Preston said. "This is the last round, isn't it? No matter what happens, someone will end up with ten points, right?"

"I think so," Judy nodded.

"Great. Then I should choose what happens," Chappy said. "After all, I am the team leader."

Franklin and Susan glanced at each other in disbelief.

"I dare Ernie to forfeit the challenge," Chappy said as he folded his arms confidently.

"Okay," Ernie shrugged. "I forfeit the challenge."

"And that's one point for…" Hatchet paused.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"…Team Chill."

"Wait, WHAT?!" Chappy roared.

"Ernie accepted the dare," Hatchet said.

"Yeah, he forfeited the challenge!" Chappy argued.

"Just like you said," Hatchet responded.

"But that means he should lose!" Chappy shouted.

"He forfeited the challenge, but the rest of his team didn't," Hatchet explained.

Chappy looked ready to blow a gasket.

"Anyway, in first place is Team Chill with ten points," Hatchet said. "Second place goes to Team Flame with nine points, and last place goes to Team Thunder with eight points."

* * *

**Confessional:**

**CJ:** Really? Even when I try to lose, we still win? I didn't realize I'd pissed off the universe recently and it decided to make me stay in this stupid game.

**Kiki:** Two first place wins in a row? Not bad, not bad at all.

**Franklin:** This does not bode well for us at all.

* * *

Franklin, Susan, and Bailey all met in their usual spot on the balcony.

"So, um, you know, who are we voting for?" Bailey asked?

"Judy of course," Susan said. "She didn't even participate in most of this challenge."

"Susan does have a point," Franklin said. "However, I still don't think Judy is the best option."

"What?!" Susan gasped.

"Think about it, of the others, Judy's the nicest and the best at physical challenges," Franklin explained. "I think we should lose Preston."

"Preston?" Bailey asked.

"Well, think about it. He claims to know everything about everyone based on body language and all that," Franklin said. "Do you really want someone like that around? Someone who knows your secrets and could tell them to anyone?"

"…No," Bailey and Susan said in unison.

"But what about Judy?" Susan asked.

"We can always get her next time," Franklin assured her as he put his hand on her shoulder.

"Okay," Susan said with a smile.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Susan:** Franklin's the only guy I'd give up voting off Judy for. Eeeee!

**Franklin:** I've been thinking about it, and I've decided I can't have Preston in this house any longer. If he does know my secret, that could be bad news for me, both in this game and outside of it. Trust me, some things are better left unsaid.

* * *

Preston, Judy, and Chappy all sat on one of the couches in the foyer to talk strategy.

"A'ight, so who's our weakest link now?" Chappy asked. "I'm thinkin' chubby girl or glasses girl."

"Yes, definitely glasses girl, er, Susan," Preston agreed. "Not only is she weak, but she's clumsy too. Sometimes I'll see her trip over nothing as she skips through the house."

"I have seen her do that," Judy admitted. "She's not exactly useful in challenges, is she?"

"Nope. Plus, she's a number for the other side," Preston said. "If we can get rid of her, that gives us a huge advantage."

"Okay, one, once we get rid of her, we ain't losing again," Chappy said sternly. "And two, how are we gonna vote her off at all? It's three on three."

"Have faith, Chappy," Preston said smugly. "I know what I'm doing."

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Judy:** Even though I hate voting for people, I admit Susan might be our best option right now. She's not all that great in challenges, and, I don't know why, but I get the feeling she doesn't like me very much. Maybe I'll talk to her about it.

**Chappy:** Alright, I'm putting my trust in Preston, but if he effs this up for me, he'll be the next to go.

**Preston:** So, as predicted, I am currently running my team. I control four of the six votes, and the other two are both expendable; in fact, one of them is going home tonight. Hahaha. Man, I knew this would be easy, but these guys are making it almost unfun. They're so stupid. Oh well, better than not leading the team at all, I guess.

* * *

Preston approached Franklin.

"I assume you know who we're voting for tonight?" Preston asked.

"If I had to guess, Susan," Franklin said.

"Ooh, good job. You're not as dumb as you look," Preston smirked. "If I had a doggy treat, I'd give you one."

"Is there anything else you needed, or are you just here to be an ass?" Franklin asked in annoyance.

"Well, I wasn't going to originally, but since you feel like being so rude to me, I'm starting to reconsider keeping your secret a secret," Preston said.

"What do you want now?" Franklin asked as he rolled his eye.

"Hmm… Ooh, I know!" Preston snickered. "I'm taking away your eyepatch privileges for twenty-four hours."

"My eyepatch privileges?" Franklin asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Yes. Unless of course you want everyone to know about your abusive parents," Preston said in an almost bragging manner.

"That's… You know what, forget it," Franklin said. "No. You can tell the whole world I have abusive parents! I don't care!"

"Oh, you will," Preston threatened.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Preston:** Okay, so my plan's not going exactly as predicted, but that's irrelevant. Susan's still going home tonight, no doubt about it.

**Franklin:** Okay, yes, I grew up with abusive parents: an alcoholic dad and a neglectful mom. It's not something I like to share with everyone, but it's the truth. Let's just leave it at that.

* * *

Bailey found Susan sitting absentmindedly on one of the chairs in the backyard. Bailey cleared her throat as she began to read from a paper.

"Greetings, Susan. How does today treat you?" Bailey asked.

"Oh, it's fine I guess," Susan admitted. "I'm a bit bummed that we're not voting for Judy, but Franklin knows what he's doing."

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that," Bailey read. "I'm becoming increasingly concerned about your feud with Judy. If it's not too much to ask, I wish to know why you hold such disdain towards such a nice member of our team."

"You want to know, huh?" Susan sighed. "Alright, I'll tell you, girl to girl. Sit down and get comfortable."

Bailey sat in the chair next to Susan.

"Bailey, have you ever had a boyfriend?" Susan asked.

"Oh, uh, erm, no. Sorry. Why do you, uh, ask?" Bailey replied.

"Well, neither have I," Susan said. "That's the main reason I joined this contest. You know how couples are always getting together on this show. Heck, even outcasts like Zoey and Gwen found themselves a boyfriend. I hoped that the same could happen to me."

"Alright, but, um, what does this, uh, have to, you know, do with Judy?" Bailey stuttered.

"Well, think about Judy for a second," Susan said. "Name three negative things about Judy."

"Um, well…" Bailey wracked her brain for a minute. "She's, I guess, a bit nosy… I think…"

"That's all you can come up with?" Susan asked.

"Yes. Sorry," Bailey apologized.

"Exactly. How am I supposed to get a boyfriend when I'm on a team with a tall, athletic, kind, naturally beautiful, tan, sociable… the list goes on and on," Susan listed. "And what do I have going for me? Nothing, that's what? I'm pasty, I'm awkward, my boobs are smaller than Judy's, and I'm just overall blah. How is it fair that Judy gets to be so perfect while I'm just… me?"

"Susan, I…" Bailey mumbled. She stood up from her chair. "Excuse me. I, um, have to, you know, go write, on the paper, to tell you the thing… see you later." With that, Bailey left the backyard.

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Bailey:** _(she is reading from a paper)_ I had no idea Susan felt this way. This is excellent knowledge to have. Perhaps I can help Susan both with her Judy issues and her boyfriend issues.

**Susan: **Well, elimination's approaching. I may not be voting for Miss Perfect, but I do feel better telling Bailey about it. It's nice to have that off of my chest.

* * *

The six members of Team Thunder sat on one of the couches in the foyer. Hatchet came down the grand staircase carrying what looked like an ice box. He set the ice box down next to him as he stood across from the contestants.

"Well, well, well. I didn't expect to be seein' y'all so soon," Hatchet said.

"Bite me," Chappy sneered.

"Alright, y'all know how it works. If I give you a soda, you're safe. If you don't get a soda, you've been voted out of the game. Now. The first soda goes to…"

"Bailey."

"Franklin."

"Judy."

"Chappy."

Naturally, this left Susan and Preston in the bottom two.

"Susan. Preston. One of y'all is goin' home. One of y'all is safe," Hatchet said. "The one who is safe is…"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

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…

…

…

"…Susan."

"WHEW!" Susan breathed out a huge sigh of relief. Preston just sat there, shocked and speechless.

"Preston, looks like you've been voted out," Hatchet said. "Time for you to go."

"…No," Preston said simply.

"What was that?" Hatchet said as he raised a fist to Preston.

"No. No no no no no no no. No no no no no no NO NO NO NO NO!" Preston ranted. "This is impossible! I had control of the votes! ME! I was leading this game! I was going to win! You miscounted the votes! I demand that you go back and count them again!"

Hatchet ignored Preston as he picked the boy up by the hood of his jacket and carried him out of the Door of Shame. A few seconds later, Hatchet returned to the house and locked the door.

"Well then. Looks like y'all are one psycho short of a team," Hatchet remarked. "Hopefully I won't be seeing y'all again for a while. Now, head off to the backyard. It's time to go to sleep."

* * *

**Confessional:**

**Franklin:** I think it's safe to say that I believe in miracles.

**Chappy:** Whatever. Preston failed me, so I woulda voted him out later anyway. Point is, losing is no longer an option. It's never been an option, but now that we're behind the other teams, all bets are off!

* * *

"Well, I did _not_ see that comin'," Hatchet remarked. "What do we have in store for the competitors tomorrow? Y'all're gonna have to find out, next time on Total! _Drama! __**HOUSE PARTY!**_"

* * *

**Votes:**

**Preston:** Susan, if you think Judy is evil, that's fine, but I can't have you suspecting me as well. Goodbye.

**Bailey:** _(she is reading from a paper)_ Preston seems like a rather dangerous person to have in a game like this. It is in everyone's best interest that he leaves as soon as possible.

**Chappy:** Susan never added anything to the team, so we won't lose anything by getting rid of her.

**Susan:** Preston, you may not be perfect in every way like Judy, but I still always thought you were kinda creepy. See ya!

**Franklin:** Preston, secrets are kept secret for a reason. It's just way too risky to have someone like you around.

**Judy:** Alright, so, truth be told, I did overhear Franklin's conversation with Preston, as well as Susan's conversation with Bailey. Maybe I really am nosy. The point is, I don't think I, in good conscience, can vote for Susan or keep Preston around after the things I've heard. Sorry, but I vote for Preston.

* * *

_A/N: And there goes Preston. Preston went through a lot of changes when coming up with this season's cast. He actually started out as a boring CPP character, and then he was going to be a longterm villain, but then I decided that since there are plenty of villains in this season, and Preston was, in my opinion, the most generic of them, that I should to make him a fakeout villain, so here he rests at 18__th__ Place._


End file.
